"And Now I'm Swimming"

I have a new mantra this year.

"Why Not Me"

I'm a pretty brave chick for the most part, and take risks. Often, actually. Because I promised myself that there wasn't one single thing I wouldn't try. I refuse to let fear stop me from living, even for a second.

I realised this year that I might have subconsciously found a loophole.

I **may** have bypassed an experience or two. Not because I was afraid to try, but afraid to try and risk failing.

Before even taking the step, I sometimes convince myself that I don't measure up. So I take the opportunity off the table.

So upon recognizing this silliness I have spent much time this year repeating,"why not me" when presented with opportunities that I thought were totally beyond my reach.

Those three words terrify me and I often hate myself for trotting them out. Unfortunately they are often closely followed by discomfort, hard work and a lot of prayer.

It's reasonably easy to take a big plunge when you only focus on the first sensation - fear. But after you take the first step off the ledge the realization sets in. It's sink or swim. Do you turn back to shore? Or head out to the unknown. The possibility. Because. Why not me?

Looking at a beautiful athletic woman ahead of me in a race last spring....I wanted to run like her. I wanted so badly to keep up with her. To fly along like she was.

Why not me?

It was terrifying. I did NOT want to try and then be unable to maintain. She was clearly a runner. She was clearly a strong runner. I have my pace, I'm good. Go ahead, strong runner girl. Godspeed.

Why not me?

Because....she's faster than me.

Why not me?

Because she's stronger than me.

Why not me?

Because ..... I don't really know really. I guess I could try.

Why not me?

No reason why, actually. None at all.

It hurt to keep up with her. It required an incredible amount of effort, already an hour into the run. So much hard work. Much much easier to have enjoyed the pace I had prepared for. I'm pretty sure there was some heavy negotiating happening with the running Gods about lactic acid threshold and glycogen stores. I did eventually settle in comfortably. And I did indeed finish with my "rabbit" close by. And it was worth it.

Not life changing, one run, I know. But a little bit of proof that working extra hard and pushing through my limits can open up possibilities I never dreamed of. Even if I don't achieve what I set out for. No excuses. The effort was made. Why not me.

There have been some huge victories for me this year. All unexpected. All because I took a big leap and then swam like hell.

Why not me?

And, come to think about it...next time something crosses your path that makes you go "hmmmmmm... I wonder......" :

Why. Not. You.

Find your CORE