"But I've had it up to here. With the panic and the fear." Day 4of 26.2

No run today. No workout today. No ice cream today (yesterday I carb loaded with the sweet deliciousness of a vanilla strawberry cheesecake ice cream cup covered in Belgian milk chocolate).

Just a normal, busy work and be a Mum day.

Except I got this email from the Mississauga Marathon:

Bib Number: 552
Participant Name: Anne Tiffin
Event: Marathon

I am in - no turning back now. Yes, that noise is my knees knocking together. FEAR.

Actually, I was okay until I saw this:

Seriously? The red line - yeah. That's me. And 3,000+ of my new best friends.

I am very familiar with Mississauga, so sadly I can envision how far this is. Shit just got REAL.

Yes, that noise is me wailing. Loudly. TERROR.

Reality bites.

I have had a couple of very dark times in my life, when hit by a rare period of extreme depression and anxiety. When I am desperate and without hope it helps to remind myself of the people I have in my life. How every day I get up and bounce out of bed to hug my kids, laugh with my husband, text my besties and trot out to work, where I have the privilege of time spent with even more wonderful, joyful and inspiring people.
In my darkest moments I try to remind myself that I will miss out on these daily opportunities if I dwell there. I will miss the smiles, miss the laughter, miss the tears. And if you know me, you know I don't like to miss out on anything.

So at 20 + miles into this run (ack - so far!!)when I am certain that I cannot take another step forward, and want to give in to the pain, I have that evidence to draw from. I can. And I will. Eyes up, round with wonder. Determined not to miss even one single thing.

Find Your CORE

"Now we got to keep it simple and that's that" Day 5 of 26.2

Runners Log, Training Day 2,033. The fog rolled in, the wilderness creatures scurried along the dusty trail.....

Nah. Can't make this morning's run into anything more than what it was - pull on shoes, stumble out door, wipe sleep from eyes, get 'er done regular morning run. Easy 6k to test out my sore hip after icing and rest yesterday.

Still eating carbs. Life is tough.

Will foam roll and ice what ails me today.And shave my legs so I can reapply Kinesiology tape to my sore knee. And make an appointment with my chiropractor and see if he can help with the sore hip before Sunday.

Yesterday I started packing for Sunday's run. I know it's early, but I'm down with being prepared. Also - I work literally every minute between now and Saturday at noon. So. I'm almost packed already.

What on earth does one pack for running a marathon? Well...towel, clothes and assorted other toiletries to help you look like a regular human being again post race. Important especially if going home on public transit or if meeting friends after. Advil, Gravol, Tums, antibiotic cream, bandaids, skin glide, Sport Bean Jelly Bellys, Gatorade, water belt, socks, rain poncho,throwaway sweater to start the race in, Buff, race clothes, shoes, dried fruit, sun hat, sunscreen and so much more.

I may be a little overprepared, but when I stagger across the finish line with bleeding feet, I'll smugly remember that I won't have to stop for bandaids and pat myself on the back (if I can still do that after 42K).

I stopped at a running goods store yesterday, which I rarely do but I wanted to get some body glide, some Jelly Bellys, and treat myself to a new Buff headband in anticipation of completion. These are things that Wal-Mart does not carry.

Upon arrival I was immediately accosted by a sales associate, who proceeded to "runner shame" me into believing that pretty much everything I do around running is , well, not quite up to par.

I started my running life with a pair of Wal-Mart shorts and my Skechers cross trainers. I took part in my first Ironman competition in the same.

I don't run with packaged running "fuel", I like food. It works for me. Water works for me. If GU gel works for others, that's GREAT. But it doesn't mean I'm right or wrong.

I don't buy into the mentality that things have to be a certain way for someone to be a successful runner. What defines success for you? If winning your age group at the Boston Marathon is your goal, do your research, find out what works for you, and utilize it to help you be your best. Most of us simply want to be better runners, better humans, and to enjoy the journey.

Nothing wrong with that. Whether you get to the finish line powered with Gatorade, ice cold water (my favourite) or electrolyte tablets. I'll discuss my experience with gatorade and running shame in a later blog. Stay tuned.

All you really need to run is a decent pair of running shoes and some desire. Everything else can certainly make your run more comfortable (and believe me, there are some run products that I adore) but they won't make the experience any better or easier for you.

So next time I go out for a run, my store experience will remind me that the things I really need to take with me can't be bought:

- the friends & family who cheer me on
- a smiling face
- a light heart
- willing feet to carry me
- open eyes - so I don't miss a thing

Keep it simple. Keep it fun. Keep it real. And just run.

Now, hold on. I have to pack my GPS watch, my headband and compression socks......

Find Your CORE

"C is for CARBS. And that's good enough for me" Day 7 of 26.2

http://www.runnersworldonline.com.au/what-to-eat-the-week-of-a-marathon/

I've been actively researching what I should be eating leading up to my marathon this Sunday.

I read the article shared above. And also this book.

But basically I have retained one thing.

EAT ALL THE CARBS

And I stopped there. Because what else is there to know?


Tuesday Update:

Going to the gym this morning and will jump on a spin bike to get some blood flowing to my tired legs, but other than that a no training day.

Also - got this text message today:

Yes. Yes it is. 5 days ....

Find Your CORE

Everyday I'm Shuffling - Day 8 of 26.2

I'm a big fan of stupid o'clock in the morning. A really big fan actually. I love, love, love bouncing out of bed just before the alarm, throwing on my workout clothes and hitting the road or the studio for a workout.

That is, until, the day comes that I HAVE to do it.

This is the reason why training for specific events doesn't appeal to me. I love what I do, so I don't need the motivation of a race to get me out the door. I like to get up and run and choose how far/how fast depending on how I feel.

When you have a marathon looming you HAVE to get up. UGGGGGHHHHH. So most mornings, I drag my butt out of bed and lug my groaning, sore carcass to the front door. Sometimes I brush my teeth and apply deodorant first. On a morning like today, when I'm genuinely sore, tired and have an exceptionally busy week ahead of me, I would roll over and press snooze. But no.NO. Stoopid marathon.

Morning run, this is how I feel about you today

So I DID get up and dress AND brush my teeth AND apply deodorant.

You are welcome, residents of Brooklin.

It's an easy week leading up to the marathon. Called tapering, where you reduce your mileage and effort pretty drastically in order to freshen up your legs. Yesterday my Sunday long run was reduced greatly, and today I shuffled along for an easy "recovery" 7K. I say shuffled, because it was literally everything I could do to pick one foot up and place it forward. Then repeat. My hips hurt. My knee hurt. My pride hurt a little too.

I love running!!

I like to run alone but I notice occasionally that this ^^^^ person stalks me.

Fortunately, as always happens, my heart got lighter although my feet did not. I could hear the birds singing. Saw our neighbourhood crane fly overhead. Watched the world wake up slowly, and felt a little smug that I had beaten them to it. Learned that robins aren't fond of runners aggressively charging towards them with a phone in their hands. Camera shy. Whatever. Divas.

I swear the next picture has a robin in it.

Our local babbling brook

So, 6 days to 26.2. I'm tired. I hurt. I have a full week of classes ahead, several more runs to enjoy and many more moments to capture.My next task, and blog post, is to figure out how to eat to fuel for this. Tune in tomorrow.

Full steam ahead!

Find Your CORE

Running to Stand Still - Day 9 of 26.2

It's Sunday - one week away from the big day. I am guessing I should be taking this seriously now.

I often get asked why I run. The absolute truth is I wouldn't recognize myself any other way. Running was the final piece of the Annie pie. When it became a regular practise in my life I released myself into the rhythm of the movement. It was my music for years.
When I run I feel free and light and full of joy. I feel strong and beautiful and smart and worthy. When I run I feel like I belong.

It's not always fun. It's not always easy. But it is ALWAYS right. So I run.

I was laid up from running last fall. My world didn't fall apart. I didn't collapse in a heap and bemoan my end of days. Because the lessons I've learned from running transcend the time I spend on the road, and apply to my life in general. Although I missed the action of running terribly, running has given me more than enough to carry me through the toughest of days. It is my simplest and most balanced relationship. I get out what I give.

That being said, I was none too pleased when an orthopedic surgeon told me this February that I should probably think about a sport that required less impact on the body. We shall, from here on in, refer to said professional as Dr.No.
Dr.No strongly recommended I gave up running, as I have multiple impact injuries in the bottom of my hip joint, and deformities in the head of both femurs. These are resulting in the capsule around the joint becoming smaller at points and thus causing me pain (pfft..pain...clearly the man has not experienced natural childbirth of a 9lb baby). Anyway, it's apparently a difficult area to repair surgically and with an eye to my future I should be doing what I can to avoid further action being taken. I actually really listened to Dr.No. Took notes. Smiled and nodded. And then vigorously shook my head. Dr.No may have rolled his eyes.

So I went home and thought about my options. I had a 30K race in 6 weeks that I was already pretty prepared for. I would do that. And then I would scale back my distance training and just run for fun, running farther when I felt up to it, but not pushing the envelope. Be sensible enough that I can continue to run. Forever. See above.

But I had been hoping to do a marathon the month after the 30K race. Hmmmm. I thought long and hard. Agonized. Weighed pros vs cons.

Hahahahahaha - no I didn't. I signed up 30 seconds after I had the thought.

I will, indeed, treat my currently battered body with care and respect, and adhere to a lighter running load, softer surfaces and will cross train in gentler, less impactful ways. Starting on May 4th.

But that 26.2 miler?? That bitch is all mine on May 3rd. I'm going to take note of every single minute. It's a once in a lifetime experience for me. I'm choosing to live it.

Find Your CORE

On the Road Again -10 days of 26.2

Call me crazy. I signed up for a marathon. This, specifically is what I have agreed, no PAID, to do:

mar·a·thon
ˈmerəˌTHän/
noun
- a long-distance running race, strictly one of 26 miles and 385 yards (42.195 km).
- a long-lasting or difficult task or operation of a specified kind

Okay. I've got this. I've had many Netflix watching marathons. No big deal.

But then I read on. Apparently in 490 B.C.E some Greek guy named Pheidippes heroically ran 26 miles and 385 yards. He ran from the Plains of Marathon to Athens to spread the news of an Allied Greek victory there over a Persian army. I'm guessing he wasn't wearing Nike sneaks and chafe free clothing (Hello leather thong sandals and toga!!) but that's my hypothesis, not actual fact.

Although this guy ^^^ clearly agrees.

Well. THANKS. A . LOT. Pheidippes. I'll be cursing your name on Sunday, May 3rd. If I can ever figure out how to pronounce it.

It was introduced as an athletic event in the 1896 revival of the Modern Olympic Games and now is a (possibly the most) popular race distance for runners from professional to beginners alike.

Let me be clear. As a fitness professional I know that 4+ hours of repetitive physical activity, now performed mostly on hard roads, is absolutely not a highly recommended way to get or remain fit.

It's hard on the body. It's hard on the mind. It's hard on life. Over the last 6 weeks I have increased my mileage from average 40-50km per week to between 70-80km per week.
I have:
- been out on a run that took 4.5hrs long because it was so hilly, I was poorly prepared fuel-wise, and my legs and body literally felt like I had immersed myself in boiling hot viscuous fluid that pulled me further and further in with every painful step forward.
- experienced chafing on my arms and collarbone, marking me with red blistery circles reminiscent of teenage make out sessions but more painful (physically anyway - emotionally scarred from feeling mortified as an adult looking back. But that's another blog)
- toes that feel like someone has taken a sledgehammer to repeatedly
- March sunburns
- eaten things that are gooey and disgusting and can't even pass as food so runners refer to them as "fuel"
- wanted to give up. A lot.
- been very, very, very, very, very, very tired. And sore. Hurty, owwy, stairs are to high to climb ever again sore.

BUT I've also:
- had a glorious 34K run that felt so strong I really think I could've have done it again
- ran the furthest I've ever run before - 3 times, each surpassing the last
- enjoyed the experience of running Around The Bay 30K race - one of the truly most wonderful days of my life
- found new parts of my community, seen spring emerging from the bleakness of winter, and marvelled at more wondrous things than I can remember and recount
- enjoyed a freedom in running I had lost in the darker months of winter
- shared giggles, jokes, sport beans, stories and so much more with the people I am blessed enough to share this experience with. There is nothing more personal than sharing the agonies and joys of the open road with people who understand

So I thought I would document this experience for posterity - and also for all of my wonderful clients and friends who shake their heads at me, look at me like I'm a little crazy, and then pat on the shoulder and whisper, "you can do this".

Over the next ten days I am going to document what the week up to, the marathon itself, and the aftermath looks like. In case, you know, anyone out there might want to do this themselves.
It's been a journey. And as with everything worth doing, it has had it's challenges. Which I will try to share in the blogs ahead this week.

Read on. And share with your friends. If you don't you know who I will be calling to accompany me on my next adventure!

Find Your CORE

"It's Just A Moment. This Time Will Pass"

I usually post regularly - in fact it was a promise to myself that I would regularly maintain the CORE blog this year. I get so many positive interactions from each blog post and I gain so much from each story someone shares with me in return. I love writing, it feeds my soul. And I love sharing my stories, thoughts and knowledge in the hope that something I say might inspire, amuse or teach someone something that they needed. It's a small little baby right now, but in my dreams and goals it will one day be something much bigger.

If I ever write in it again.

I'm stuck.

Ever been stuck? I've sat in front of this screen countless times. With so much to say. And nothing to say at all.

I have immeasurable amounts of half researched, pretty great articles saved, all ending with ....

Because I can supply the data. But not the passion.

I'm so stuck in fact that I am asking myself, as I am sure you are, what in heavens' name am I bothering writing this for and where on earth is it going? I promise, it's extremely likely to go somewhere. Stick with me while I unstick myself.

Because we ALL get stuck. Sometimes we retain the facts of matter, but we lose the heart of it. And when that happens we start to exist and we forget to live.

We get stuck in our jobs. Our health habits. Our weight. Our thoughts. Our relationships. Things we enjoy become rote and mundane, and our inability to reap the joy from them becomes a stressor, and we allow resentment to creep in.

Oh yeah. I resent writing this blog RIGHT NOW. Because I could be chilling reading People magazine in this rare moment of quiet in my home. But here I stick, slowly ripping off the band-aid.

It's a sticky situation, to be sure.

But the truth is, in life you have to choose to get unstuck. You can decide to plow onward and work at something until it becomes what you need and you can feed from it's joy once again. You can decide to change. To remove yourself or that which you are stuck to, if necessary. To make the harsh cuts when nothing else will help you get unstuck. Both of these choices are crap. They both need you to stand up, work hard, take action and be brave. But in the end, there is a pretty darn good chance that, once unstuck, you will be more free to help yourself. And from there, the possibilities for you and those you love are endless.

There is ONE other choice. You can choose to stay stuck.

But where would the world be without you?

Find Your CORE