"Just Don't Give A F*#!" (may contain loads of swearing)

In two weeks I am turning 38 and I no longer give a single fuck about some things. I have more pressing issues to deal with.

Warning - this post contains swears. Lots and lots of swears. It's healing for me today, kay? And truly - if you don't like it - I don't give a fuck. Tune back in after I wash my mouth out.

Not one single fuck will be wasted worrying about my body shape. I have big thighs. They jiggle. I have a shit ton of extra skin on my tummy. I am built like a little boy. As my Mum said, I'll never be beautiful. I have scars on my arm like train tracks. My nose is large for my face. My eyes are small for my face, and close set. I have a humungous mouth. My index finger on my left hand veers off to the left. I have extremely long first toes, and bony elven feet. I have tiny, teensy wrists and Edward Scissorhand fingers.I am, in short, no cover model.

Why, oh why, do I let one second of my life be wasted beating myself up for those things? For. Fuck. Sakes.

I have no desire to change my body. It's A-Ok just the way it is. So I am done worrying about it.
I look the way I look, I weigh what I weigh. I am ,and always will be this size. Because it's fine. So no more fucks will be given.

It's time to make my choices based on who I am not on what I believe I should be.

Fuck society and it's perfect ideals.

Middle fingers to people who judge my lack of perfection. Look in the mirror first.

A big kiss my ass to my fear that if I stop fretting over the outside, I'll have to address other things in my life that I'd so dearly love to avoid. Grow up, Annie. Grow the fuck up and get your shit done.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE to the voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough. I'm no longer listening.

So, since I stopped trying to change my body years ago, I am now going to stop wishing and wasting time on worrying about it at all.

Not one more fuck shall me misspent in this way by me. I have more important things to do.

And truly? So do you.

Find Your CORE.

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"This Is My Heartbeat Song"

As a follow up to my blog about "fun runs" of a few days back, I want to take a minute (or longer - get tied on) to discuss team CORE and their varied experiences over the last two weeks, participating in Mudderella (an all women, 9K mud run) and the Warrior Dash (a 5K obstacle run).

We had, as they say, a blast. It was a load of fun. From the day before prep, to the social media chatter, the long car rides together, the pre race jitters, the post race high. We loved it all.

There are a lot of tales to tell, and I will leave all the various Warriors and Mudderellas to tell their own version of their days. But I have something to say to each one.

If you have ever read my blog, by now you know I love my CORE people for more than the income they provide me. I am inspired, no blown away, by them. They are simply amazing, brave, kind and wonderful human beings. I get to hear about their lives, and am invited into their journey to better health, an intimate and personal privilege to be sure.

As I suspected - they surpassed their expectations at these events. They challenged their limits and were not found wanting. They surprised themselves, but not me. They never surprise me...I see what they are capable of and believe in them when they can't believe in themselves. I love my job.

So, as briefly as I can - a word to each of our CORE family who participated.

Lisa/Jason/Char/Tasha: I didn't get to see your time on course. I cannot wait to hear every single detail. But I know the truth of the matter in the pictures I have seen - your shining eyes, and proud smiles. You are all amazing!!

Chantelle: you make everything more fun - and that is a gift to all around you. Keep your light hearted attitude and say what you think - we are listening. So are all the handsome medics.

Fawna: you told me the course kicked the crap out of you. I'm pretty sure I crossed the finish line with you. So who did all the kicking that day? Love your determination - and your refusal to let badass blisters bring you down.

Megan: Sorry that despite being old enough to be your mother, you could only keep up with me for one obstacle. Don't worry. I'll always slow down when you need someone to grab your hand and get you through. Great job you beautiful girl.

Jody: two weeks in a row and still dancing at the end of the Warrior Dash. Nothing keeps you down, physically or emotionally. Keep dancing, even with your broken bum.I'll rub it for you anytime.

Alex: I know what a challenge this was for you, in so many ways. I see you encourage others to step outside their box, and you don't allow your box to keep you in. Your belief in yourself despite the fears you face inspires me everyday. You are beautiful.

Jo: So much of this is your fault, I don't even know where to start! In the end, through it all, perhaps the bravest moment of the whole week was you planning next years adventure while being taken away on a stretcher in the back of a pick up truck. Never deterred from making shit happen.
Keep swimming - even though it is often upstream. It's people like you who get there.

Lee: you always seem to join us in these crazy adventures! Way to conquer so many things that on the way to the obstacle you firmly told me, "there is no way". Your quiet, steadfast determination was AMAZING as was the fact that you climbed BACK UP the bigass wall to help someone else over. Plus, you swear a lot, which is awesome.

Elizabeth: I never doubted for one second that you would fail to conquer every single obstacle, just as you always do, despite fear and difficulties. Lift up your chin and know that you are everything you need to be to tackle all life has in store. And you'll look damn good doing it.

Angie: Not surprising my British friend, that you made it through. Your ability to do everything and make it look effortless is beyond compare. But I know your truth lies in your ability to not only do things capably yourself, despite fears or challenges, but in affording others your quiet confidence and gentle encouragement. Lots of the team benefited from your kindness, as we do each and every week in class. You are a rock star. Errr, sorry.A country star!!

Jen: from being trapped in your bed to completing a Warrior Dash. All in five minute increments. All while looking stylish. All while helping, encouraging and affirming everyone. Even strangers. You are a lovely soul. Believe in you.

Matt, the wall guy at the Warrior Dash. Shout out to Matt for helping us through the most difficult of obstacles. YOu sure know your left and right.

In short, we kicked some serious butt. If you weren't part of this year's adventures don't worry - there will be more in the years to come. Jo will make sure of it!

Find Your CORE

"Muddy Waters"

After having now completed a colour run, a mud run and an obstacle run - all considered "Fun Runs", I can now confirm my previously inexperienced hypothesis.

They are a bit of a sham. Huge moneymakers, marketing ploys, clever charity tie ins.

They promise (not all of them - and I'll get to that later) that everyone can do their courses. They post training tips. They give out cutesie tattoos and hair extensions. They sell their branded merchandise for 500x it's worth. They overcharge for everything.

They sell their product as an end of the line goal. Do this, and you are a WARRIOR!!

Problem is, what does the average participant in these events do the day after?

I have stood at many an obstacle in the last two weeks and watched people bravely get through them. So many (TOO many) of the participants in these events are not ready to participate. Even the easier course was full of rutted, muddy trails, rocks to climb over, hills to scale and more (this was just the terrain, not the obstacles).Couple this with heat, nerves, adrenaline, add unfit participants with little or no body or spacial awareness, dressed in unsuitable and often unsafe clothing, and you have a terrible accident waiting to happen.

I worry that too many people, inexperienced with moving themselves in this way, are set up for injury and/or a terrific amount of hurt following the event. This leads me to success. All we in the fitness industry want is for every single body to feel successful at everything they do.
Successful people keep going. Successful people build high self esteem. Successful people are confidant in their own abilities. You get the drift.

I worry that people come into these events without preparation, and the idea that completion is enough.

As a fitness professional the idea of these events appeals so much! A fun and exciting, all inclusive way to encourage EVERYONE to get outside and get moving.

My concern is how many people then stop once they hit their particular finish line. From injury or pain, lack of success, or simply because they feel they have done their part to make a difference in their health.

So, my professional opinion is that they have a place in the world of movement. Some need to do a better job of emphasizing the need for training and general fitness. Some need to do a better job of ensuring safety measures are in place for the level of participant they are attracting. But, all in all, they are helpful in the quest to get people off the couch.

They are also unique, fun experiences - with a note to say that they are much more enjoyable if you do have a base level of fitness at least before you take part. They are an opportunity to join with a host of other athletes in a test of endurance, camaraderie and bravery.

Yesterday a large group of us went to the Warrior Dash, which turned out to be my favourite fun run experience thus far. Fairly priced, well organised, challenging and well prepared. Well, except for the shower situation. As nice as being hosed off by a fireman was, it wasn't really conducive to a proper clean up.

As I will detail further in a post later this week I am super proud of every single person who came out with us yesterday and last week to Mudderella. Amazing work. You all inspire me so much.

Every single person conquered something they had thought impossible.

And maybe that, in itself, is enough to make every step of these fun runs well worth the effort.

Find Your CORE

"Everybody Hurts, Sometimes"

Since the Mississauga Marathon my running career has stalled.

It.Hurts.

My left leg is a tangle of tight muscles, angry ligaments and totally testy tendons. It was for a good while almost unbearably painful to bear weight on that leg. My calf was often the same size as my thigh. Climbing stairs was...errmmm...slow.

I still worked. I still worked out. I still ran.

Not because I am a hero. Or a martyr.

I worked because I had to. I love my job. It feeds both my soul and my children.

I worked out with a new focus. Rehabilitation. I leg lifted weights tied onto my leg. I did leg presses at the gym. I stretched. I foam rolled. I focused on the muscles that will be needed to maintain a strong, balanced bunch of leg junk that will take over for my slowly degenerating hips. I worked out hard, and didn't miss a day of taking care of my painful legs. See above - I need my legs to do my job. I need HEALTHY, strong, mostly pain-free legs to do my job.

I ran because I didn't want to forget it.

I would not have lost much fitness. I'm not training for anything. It hurt. Somedays my leg would feel like I was dragging a 200lb tree stump. On those days I looked like a zombie from the Walking Dead. Other days, my leg would helpfully send shooting pains from baby toe all the way up into my lower back. On the best days, I had to focus every bit of my energy into keeping both legs running as balanced as possible. Like learning how to run. All over again.

I ran. Not every day, but when I could. I ran slow, for the most part, because there was no other option. I HATED it. I spent my runs thinking about running - stuck inside my battle with my body. I battled my inner "you can't do it", "you should give up". I listened and stopped a couple of times and cried.
I stopped seeing all the things that made running the joyful, life giving exercise that it is for me. When I ran with friends I was withdrawn. It literally took everything I had to keep running. But, I kept trying. I was determined not to forget.

The pain has been getting better. Massage and laser therapy, patience and time. Foam rolling, stretching and strengthening correctly (I have an EXCELLENT Personal Trainer, even though she's a bit of a bully) have been working their magic. Hard work gets results.

I am on Day 15 of a "Run Streak", challenged by my friend and massage therapist, Rhonda. Every day, my legs have been getting more tired. But they are remembering. It's as if ever step was a bit closer to the whole runner I was last September, when this shitstorm of pain really began.

Straight and true. Strong and solid. Moving forward. Not terribly quickly yet, but that's ok.

The blips and twinges and aches are there, but they are not dictating my run anymore. They are simply reminding me that patience will heal. And I am listening.

The best part? I am seeing all of my beautiful Brooklin trees again, in their summer blooming beauty. I am seeing the beautiful farmer's fields growing and lush. I smell the fresh cut hay in the fields, and feel the rush of nostalgia for my farm spent youth. I hear the laughter, the bird's calls and the wind whispering through the branches. Also, the car horns honking at me. Sigh. Share the road, drivers! I hear my running friends breathing,chatting, swapping tales of the open road.

Most of all, I hear my footfalls, steady and true beneath me. Moving forward. I have my feet under me again. I am moving forward.

I have found my CORE.

"Squat It Like It's Hot"

Squats. The fitness move everyone loves to hate.

I love the squat.

Every single person can do a squat. No equipment is needed. There are a thousand and one variations, with or without equipment. Squats give you fantastic legs and a double look worthy bum. Need I say more?

The primary focus in a squat is on the muscles of the hip, thighs and bum. Major muscles worked are the hamstrings, quadriceps and glutes. Squatting will also strengthen the bones, ligaments and tendon insertions in the lower body. Squatting is absolutely essential for increasing the size of leg and bum muscles and builing core strength.

Are you sold yet? Need more?

Squats also utilize muscles in the lower leg, lower back, upper back, abdominals, shoulders and arms, so all of those muscles are thus being trained.

More bang for the buck. Just the way I like it - get as much of the body involved as you can - maximize caloric expenditure and make every minute of your workout count!

A few other fun factoids to up the ante and make sure you squat and squat often:

-build better balance. The balance that you need to do them will help to sit,stand and walk tall and straight and it will also strengthen your back muscles and help to avoid the back pain caused by sitting in a chair for too long
-can be performed ANYWHERE!! That crazy lady you saw squatting at the grocery store? May have been me. Maybe.In the fresh veggies section, not the ice cream freezer, of COURSE!
-non-impact exercises - no undue strain on joints and spinal column
-weight loss. Being a big muscle, full body exercise, squats burn a lot of calories! Making them an efficient aid in weight loss as well as building muscle strength
-60% of human muscle mass is located in the legs,squats use almost all these leg muscles in unison
-most athletic injuries involve weak stabilizer muscles, ligaments & connective tissues. Body weight exercises like squats can help strengthen these & help prevent injury
-Ab contractions that occur during a squat can be more beneficial than crunches! They also help strengthen the lower back & can help improve posture.

I have also read that squats can get rid of cellulite, give you a "juicy" booty and solve world peace. Take of that what you will.

Squat To Your Max! 6 Problems that can occur when you squat at home and how to correct them

1. The Problem: Your shoulders and back are relaxed.

Without proper tension in your shoulders and back, your entire squat breaks down: You round your back, you lose control, and apart from being able to lift less weight, you also up your risk of injury. Basically, your body forgets how to do squats.

The Fix: Pull your shoulder blades down and together. This simple switch will engage your core and keep your body from becoming loosey-goosey. You'll be shocked how much stronger you'll feel.

2. The Problem: Your knees fall toward each other.

Caved-in knees are a telltale sign that your outer thighs are lacking in strength If you let your knees cave in, you'll only exacerbate muscular imbalances.

The Fix: Anchoring your feet to the floor can go a long way toward keep your knees where they need to be. Take a "tripod" stance, making sure your weight is evenly distributed under your big toe, little toe, and heel. Then, pretend you're trying to spread the floor between your feet. Push your feet into the ground and out to the sides. Your feet shouldn't actually move, but you should feel some tension in your hips.

3. The Problem: You never squat below parallel.

There's a big misconception that squatting below parallel is bad for your knees. If you have no knee issues, squatting deep is perfectly healthy and can actually make knees stronger. Plus, deep squats work parts of your glutes that shallow squats just don't.

The Fix: Squat as low as you can comfortably. The ideal depth is going to be different for everybody. But, by and large, you should squat until the top surface of your thigh is just below your knee.As long as you feel comfortable and in control, you can go even lower. Just remember, squats should never hurt. If they hurt, that's your body telling you to change how you're doing them.

4. The Problem: You've only tried one type of squat.

Squats come in a all shapes and sizes—just like the people who perform them. You've got back squats, front squats, goblet squats, plyometric squats, the list goes on.

The Fix: Mix up your variations for maximum results. While every type of squat will do wonders for your lower body, each variation emphasizes different muscles, such as your hamstrings or glute medius (side butt). Hit a few variations every week and you'll get the benefits of all of them.

5. The Problem: You squat once a week.

The less often you squat, the longer it will take to see results, both in terms of sculpting muscle and blasting fat. Squats are incredibly efficient: They work more muscles and burn more calories than just about any other movement.

The Fix: Squat two to three times a week.

6. The Problem: Your knees extend way past your toes.The farther your knees jut out past your toes, the more you stress your knee joints. If you have sensitive knees, that could spell injury

The Fix: Keep your knees in line with your toes. While it's perfectly OK if your knees extend a centimeter or two in front of your toes, focusing on keeping them behind your toes is an easy way to make sure you don't end up taking things too far forward. Ideally, your hips should move back just as much as your knees move forward. Emphasize weight in your heels and lighten the pressure on your toes. Added bonus: this will engage the glutes even more!

Come to Sgt.Annie's Boot Camp this week to break down the squat and practise loads of variations!
Thursday 8pm Drop In

Find Your CORE

Gird your loins Warriors!

The day of reckoning be almost upon us!


Here are some details that I have ascertained to be important and worthy of sharing:

Race Kit Pick Up and Gear Stash
Packet pick-up will be available on-site, beginning one hour prior to the first wave of the day.
Your packet includes your race bib with safety pins, t-shirt, and Warrior helmet.
You’ll need your photo ID* to pick up your packet as well as a signed and dated copy of the participant waiver. We have copies on site, but to save time, print, and complete the waiver at home by printing the waiver I will have copies of available at classes next week.
For proof of identity they accept photocopies of your:

Passport
Student ID
Membership Card
License

Gear check is FREE for all participants. A band will be issued corresponding to your race number if desired.

The bulk of our group is at the 10:30am wave time - please feel free if you wish to double check every day if you wish to join that time. Apparently space often becomes available closer to the time. It is supposed to be a simple transaction through your Warrior Dash account to switch over.

On May 27th, 2015, an EventSprout account was created for every Warrior using the email address you used while signing up. To create or reset your password, please head HERE and click, "Forgot Password."

What to Bring for Race Day:

Required Items:
Your photo ID*
$10 cash for parking
Appropriate footwear is highly recommended! Note: You will get muddy
Spending money for extra beer, turkey legs, entertainment, apparel and merchandise
Signed waiver

Prohibited Items:

No outside food or beverage items
No tents or canopies
No chairs or stools of any type
No alcohol or flasks
No coolers
No glass containers
No illegal substances, drugs, or drug paraphernalia
No illegal or unauthorized vending
No knives or weapons of any kind
No flammable lanterns or fire of any kind
No fireworks or any types of explosives
No skateboards, scooters, or personalized motor vehicles
No outside cans or cups
No soliciting
No charcoal, propane, or gasoline
No grills or cooking devices

There will be a Warrior Wash at the event. This nature of this wash varies by location. In the past, we have used sprinkler systems or existing bodies of water for Warriors to rinse off with.


The above is all the official Warrior Spiel ^^^^^^^^^^^


I enjoyed that blog with some great tips ^^^^

also:
Also if you have areas that rub together (helloooo my thighs) or may chafe - keep in mind you will be soaking wet covered in mud - apply some vaseline liberally. I'm not joking one bit. Nipples/ bra strap area - inner thigh - toes - anywhere you think.

read this:


and lastly ( In know there are some repeats - but its a good list too)


I have no idea what we are getting ourselves into - so the rest will just have to happen!! Let's do this thing!

Find Your CORE!

"Never Gonna Keep Me Down" aka Warrior Dash is coming OMFG

"I get knocked down, but I get up again. Your not ever gonna keep me down"

Chumbawumba


Ahhh, the 90's anthem.It's what plays in my head when I think of the impending torture that will be upon us on July 18th,2015. Cause shit just got real friends - we're going down. And we're getting dirrrttty. And it's going to be hard. Really, really hard. I'm going to tell you the truth about what is going to happen.

This is how the website so beautifully explains the Warrior Dash. Almost poetic:

Warrior Dash is the obstacle course race that anyone can start and everyone can finish. With over two million participants worldwide since 2009, we’ve reinvented the concept of a 5k run and created a revolution: Warrior Nation. Whether you’re an elite athlete or just beginning the challenge, you’ll conquer 12 world-class obstacles like Goliath and Great Warrior Wall, wade across wooded lakes, and venture through mud-caked backroads as you make your loop to the finish line. You’ll be rewarded with a finisher medal (that doubles as a bottle opener and magnet), a sweet t-shirt, fuzzy Warrior helmet, and ice cold beer. Head to the post-race party to relive the course with friends, dance to live music, and celebrate your decision to leave your normal weekend in the mud.

Doesn't that sound delightful? DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT. Believe a word of it. It's all to fool you into coming. I know this because it's wrapped in the same package that I use to sell you all on my classes. Except that my classes are good for you. And you need them. So keep drinking my kool aid, kay?

Look at this:

I mean, c'mon. Look at that dude! He is HARD CORE. And he looks miserable. This is gonna hurt.

And then this:

Dear sweet Jesus - WHHHHYYYYYY are we doing this?

I'm guessing that with 10 days left, many of the 20+ idiots who agreed to this "adventure" with me are feeling nervous, unprepared, anxious, not ready, well, you know - you are feeling it.

It's because we can't do it.

No

Way

Not

Ever

Feeling deflated? Disappointed? What's the problem? I'm just going with what you all have been telling me.
"I don't think I can"
"Can I go around"
"What if I"
"I'm not strong enough"

You are right.

With that attitude, you can't do it.

The thing is, I know you can do it.
You are strong. You survive and thrive in your workouts.
You are determined people who make things happen on a daily basis.
You are able and ready to give this 100% No matter what that looks like when you cross the finish line.

It is going to be hard. It is going to hurt. It is going to be messy. You will be WAY outside of your comfort zone. But you CAN and WILL do this.

There will be times throughout the course that your mind will tell you otherwise. It will be lying to you. Listen to me. I'm your truth. You CAN and WILL do this.

All it takes from here on is belief. Your belief. That you can do this. You can face this challenge like every other that presents itself. With your heads up, a smile on your face, the "F" word on your lips and your beautiful strong bodies. You CAN and WILL do this.

So waste not one more moment in can't. You are robbing yourself of the anticipation of the fun(?)that is to come. I believe in you. On July 18th it's your turn.....

Find your CORE

P.S. I just saw this picture. I'm out - look at all that mess. MY OCD!! ***shudders***

P.P.S. Watch this blog tomorrow for a list of packing and preparation tips for the event on July 18th. Let's go Warriors!!!!!!

"Who Am I, Without You" Me, In A Large Nutshell

This past few weeks I have had cause to stop and check myself. I realize that if you were to break down my waking day into percentages the pie chart might flow something like this:

75% work or work related
1% all other daily stuff
24% apologising

This may be partly a result of genetics (English) and upbringing (Canadian) but I think it's mostly a part of who I am. I've been thinking a bit on who, exactly, I might be. I thought after 37 years on this earth that this would be pretty self explanatory to those who know me, and most especially to myself. I know me. Right?

Then this morning, my lovely friend and blog mentor Alex, from I Don't Blog, posted this little gem:

Dammit. She knows who she is. Hate her just kidding she's amazing. Even though she's judging.

So I had to think about it. And then rethink it. Then think it over again, in case the first two times were not right.
I'm a perfectionist who has embraced chaos. I overthink, overplan, overdo absolutely everything. If I have bought or made you a gift you can be sure that I have sat up at night planning, fretting and preparing. Not to make the perfect gift, but the perfect gift for you.
I care about everyone and love my people with every ounce of me. If you are my best friend or a casual acquaintance, I care about you. The difference is how close I let you get to my heart. I think about the people I love all the time, and take the time to consider how my actions/words etc will affect them.
I'm an introvert who loves people. That, my readers, is a painful combo.
I'm brave. ^^ see above. All that which which scares me? Screw it. I'll do it anyway.Especially if it involves the people I love. Especially if they need me.
I'm loyal I'll do whatever it takes to make people safe and loved. Anything.

So to sum up the above in one category:

I'm a human repairman. I want everyone and everything in this whole silly world to feel happy and secure and loved. And when I perceive that this is not the case, I must make it so. Need a friend? I'm there. Car broken? I'll give you a ride. Rough patch in life? I'll brighten what I can't fix of that. Charity needs a hand? I'm on my way. Most of the time this trait is life giving and lends to an abundance of joy in my life.

Except when it doesn't.

I absolve people of responsibility for their actions, or inactions of the burden of my brokenness so they can feel better about themselves. Because I hurt when you hurt.

I'm sorry. My fault. I shouldn't have....

So I take that on my weary fixing shoulders. And it piles up. Until I have no desire to fix one single thing ever again for you. And then, quietly, I fade away. And for the most part, people don't even notice. Not because they are bad, but because they are not looking.

That is who I am. Your resident emotional handyman.

Maybe, though, it's far time for me to turn that toolbox towards myself.

I have a person. And I have loads of true genuine people. Who see when I hurt, and when I need a repair, and come running. People who see when I am happy and celebrate. And people who take my fixing ways and use them and appreciate them. People who remember my best even when I'm at my worst. And my worst can be pretty horrid. Reading this blog might give you the impression that I'm all lovely and nice. Nah. Fatally flawed and often a complete bitch.

It may just be time to let the rest of the world float on by and save my energies for those who cherish them.

Not to say I won't care, because I can't help it. But if I can't fix something, I'm going to let that be your problem, and not mine.

If you come into my life and don't intend to treat me with the same kindness and love that I will treat you with, then don't be puzzled when I fade away.

And, because I love you, I recommend you do the same.

Find Your CORE