"No, not at all" said I, fiddling with my bridal veil.
"I am " he whispered, "because you, my Annie, are everything a Dad could wish for. I can't believe I have to give you away"
"I'm not going away" I giggled at his unusual sentimentality
"No. You aren't" he hugged me, "but I feel like I just came back"
My dad. Alan Jones, born August 29th, 1939, was an entirely imperfect man. It would take more blogs than I care to write about the many reasons why. My parents separated not long after my birth, and apart from one or two vague memories of a Daddy visit, my only real recollection of him is via a bag of Christmas and Birthday presents every year. Books and music. Without fail.
He flitted in and out of our lives throughout my teen years, but it was as an adult woman that I got to know him.
If he were to have written a manifesto on life, this would have been what it would look like:
- watch movies. Every kind of movie. More than once if necessary. On the big screen, on the small screen. Take in the stories, step in other peoples shoes. There is no bad movie, because there is no story that isn't worth telling. Books - yes. Read them too. Same reasons.
- live generously. He left nothing at all, and often had nothing at all. But those around him never went without.
- if it is performed on stage go and see it. My introduction to theatre and stage productions came from sitting in many theatres -from the obscure to the sublime. I saw Pirates of Penzance in a dingy back alley production the same year I enjoyed watching Nureyev perform live at Roy Thompson Hall. Ballet, musicals, dramas, one man shows, concerts, orchestras and more....everything had it's place.
- watch every sport ever
- be charming
- dance often. And always like nobody's watching. Or maybe, like everybody is
- appreciate art and make your own
- love music. Except rap. Which isn't music.
- there is no piece of trivia that is too small to be trotted out at some point. Learn everything just in case
- eat - eat often - eat well - and lots. Food is good.
This Father's Day, my first without my Dad, I will encourage my children to reflect on how wonderful their own Dad is. How, although not perfect, he wakes up each day with the intention of keeping them safe and loved. I will encourage them to take time each day of their lives to find out who he is, beyond being their father. They will not be disappointed. As they grow they will have to forgive him for his mistakes and accept his humanity. Love everything about him that makes him unique and wonderful. Most of all, accept him for who he is, and be grateful for all he has done.
Daughter's see the reflection of their beauty through their Dad's eyes.
Boy's see their futures in their Dad's actions, and can decide to emulate or dismiss. Or a little of both.
I miss my Dad awfully much. Not a day goes by I don't wake up with his name on the tip of my tongue. I hear his voice, I see his face. I can feel his huge arms wrapped around me in a hug.I know, without a doubt, that I am the most beautiful girl in the world, because I can hear him tell me so.
We danced at my wedding to Annie's Song, by John Denver. He chose it, not for the name, but for the lyrics:
Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again
Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there. You have made all the difference in the world.
Find Your CORE
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