"Mama, I love you"

This last week has been a pretty amazing one for my business.

Children have been here.

Daughters, specifically.

Over the last ten days many of my clients have had to bring their daughters to class or session. Often apologetically. Truly? I love it. Also, I have been hearing tales of exercises being shown at home and kids diving in to try out what Mommy is doing. Or doing it with her.

What better opportunity to share with your daughters the truth about being healthy??

Every child who watches or participates in a session of movement with their parent gets a lot of take away - even if they don't realize it.
-physical activity is normal. Workout time is adult "play" time.
-taking time out from a busy day to make movement a priority makes Mommy a better person. Happier, more confident,more energetic.
- that they are welcome to take part. Exercise isn't some dirty secret that we are ashamed to do. It's for everyone.
- it's fun
- Mommy/Daddy are strong and determined. They don't give up when things are difficult and painful. They don't stop when they are tired. They work hard for things that are important.
- that working out is for being skinny. It's for being healthy.

I heard a few comments this week that the kids are so much better at the movements than we are as adults. Yes. No brainer. Children are flexible and strong because they are encouraged to be active and move and explore. If your child can do more burpees than you, that's ok. Be proud of yourself, and them.

Remember that one day, when they need to make choices that will determine their health and wellness, sometimes life or death decisions, it's your example that they will remember. It's your bravery that will get them in the door of their local gym, or join a run club. It's your strength that will remind them to keep going when it feels to tough. And most importantly, it's your voice that will ring in their heads when they look in the mirror and don't like what they see.

I heard this in class this week:

"I have made the decision to not care about how much I weigh or how I look. I make these choices to better my health, be strong, and live well. If I lose weight because of it, then great. If I don't,well, I'm great just the way I am. Healthy."

Well. Isn't that what we all wish for our children?

Find your CORE

"Hip 2 B Square"

So I am injured. I'll spare you all the details but basically I have some bum hips that don't really want me to be happy. These hips?? They lie.

***Not My Hip - Sandra Bullock is being my hip stand in - Thanks Sandy!**

My doctor suggested I take up swimming. I suggested that he take a second look at with whom he was speaking.

"You talking to me??" I might have even given him some side eye.

So, I get to have an MRI, a bone density scan and another appointment with my surgeon. I am certain I am his favourite patient. If not, well, I should be. I'll work on that when I see him.

So last week I was feeling lost. This week....broken. In know. All. About.Annie. You got it! You clicked on the link - now suffer through - I almost always have a good point to make.

I feel a little like Humpty Dumpty, truth be told, and not just because I MAY have been eating some *cough* ALL of my emotions.

This humpty has had a bit of a fall.

Truth be told, my hips aren't the only part of me eroding. I'm emotional - the girl who didn't cry for 3 something years has opened the floodgates. I recently lay on my kitchen floor with my cheek pressed against the cold floor, staring at the mocking bits of missed breakfast under our table. And I didn't clean it. Even my OCD is out for the season. (Full disclosure. First thing I did when I was feeling better and upright?? Scrubbed that floor. But I digress.)

I stand at the bottome of the stairs staring at the second floor and wonder how I am going to get to the top. Because it seems that insurmountable some days.

Work is stressful. Family is stressful. Life is particularly stressful and often upsetting of late. And we all know that stress takes a toll.

I don't want sympathy. I want you to know that I understand.

That everyone falls apart sometimes.

Even the positive, on top of the world, people loving, inspirational, full of joy, seeker of all things good. Sometimes the tough outer layer of life experience erodes and fades away and lets in the negative. Sometime so much negative gets through that it scars.

I know that each and every one of us has and will fall apart. That the hard knocks of life will scar us, but the sun will, indeed, come out tomorrow. (yes - I went there - and you liked it, admit it)

Healing a wound takes time. Patience. Self love. Love from others. Caring. Tenderness. Slow, gentle recovery. Sometimes help from a knowledgeable professional. And acknowledgement. You have to admit that you are, in fact, a little broken. And that's okay.

Because even Macgyver knows, some duct tape and a one hour story arc can heal almost anything. And so can you.

Find Your CORE

"We Are Lost Together"

SO. I didn't finish my 10 days of 26.2.
I also haven't been blogging regularly.
AND
I realise that I haven't exactly been "On Topic" lately with this blog either. I'm sorry. I will, my three faithful readers, get back to business as usual. Soon.I promise. Probably.

I will have to admit that since I ran the Mississauga Marathon I have been a little..well...lost.
By lost I mean rudderless, purposeless maybe a little..useless? I'm struggling to find the right words. I have no goals, I have no future course. I have nothing to look forward to. I am a limp and less full version of myself. My joy has wandered out and window and remains elusively out of reach.

Ouch.

That was a depressing paragraph.

Not everything in my life has been going according to plan lately. This has been, to say the least, the most challenging period of my life in many ways. And until the last three weeks it has failed to dampen my enthusiasm for the beauty and blessings I have in my life. Because I have SO many things to look forward to, so many wonderful people in my world and am so very lucky. I have NOT.ONE.THING really to complain about. So, the whole Annie, she wouldn't complain.

Get tied on. She's not here today.

Ever noticed that weird coincidences occur when you need them the most?? Like, someone abandons a role in your life, and there, "poof" the right person is there to fill it. A person you never want to let go.
Maybe a Cola can with the name "Dad" on it appears on the day your Father passes away.
Perhaps a phone call from someone you've been thinking of.
When you need a good feel, the right song comes on the radio and stirs your soul. Music knows.

This shit happens to me ALL.THE.TIME.

I constantly find the right things to bring joy to my life. I look around and find, wide eyed and amazed, that sometimes before I have even questioned, I have answered.

But this lost feeling? Ugggghhhhh. I don't see this stuff anymore. Because it's not happening. Or I've stopped bothering to look.

Today I went to one of my favourite places. A happy place. Hoping to, I don't know really what I hoped. I just wanted to feel, for a few minutes, like myself.

It's a place where the sun shines through the trees and brushes my face like an old friend. I recognize the sounds and smells of it, and it feels like home. This place has it's own rhythm, it's own music. And I love it.

I always sit in the same spot. And see the same views. But it never fails to make my heart sing (and, embarrassingly, sometimes my voice. I've had people stumble upon me belting out some heartfelt melody. Poor, unsuspecting people).

I realised today that it was hard to lift my gaze. It hurt to look. The sun was TOO bright. So I tried to content myself with looking down. At a rock.

A rock. Grey, slabby, boring, predictable and blah.

OR

Grey, strong, reliable, majestic and....kinda amazing. How the waters part around it, it's foundation too strong to be swept away. That rock has been my totally ignored happy place partner for, well, a lot of years. I've smiled with it, cried with it, catnapped on it, sung with it, read on it, lamented the state of the world on it. And I now feel guilty a little that I've never acknowledged it. I know, it's a rock, but I'm going for a metaphor here. And I actually did feel guilty. Because, well, that's kind of a me thing.

So maybe, I thought, scuffing the bird poop off my new best friend with the toe of my shoe, maybe, I'm not so lost. I have a starting point. Truth be told I have my very own rock in my life. I hope beyond hope that I have never failed to see her, but if I have, she has been there anyway. My rock, in a stream, still and steadfast. My starting point.

Around this rock, this beautiful creature (hey, I have to make up for years of ignoring it, right??) has other, smaller perhaps, farther away, not quite so perfect for my purpose, rocks surrounding it. These rocks, when I take the time to look, connect and make an almost protective circle around me. Never saw those before either.

I realise, as I often do, that there is sometimes even without looking, coincidences too great to miss.

And that even when you can't look up, when the sun is too bright for your tired eyes, there is strength to be found.

A reminder sometimes when are lost, your rocks have been underfoot the whole time. Holding you up and guiding your way. Until you in turn are strong enough again to be a rock for others in your life. And in that, you will have found your way.

Find Your CORE

"It's the End of the World as I Know It" Day 3 of 26.2

Did my errands this morning on foot - then took a Thai Restorative Yoga class. So I've been all blissed out all day. Enjoying carbs, finishing packing, shaving legs. You know, a normal Saturday. Oh, and freaking out. A little. But really, what is there to freak out about?

Dear Mississauga Marathon Finish Line:

You are a really long way from the start line. Really, really, really far indeed. So far, that today at 5:02pm, I cannot conceive how on earth I will make it across you. But when I do, I know I won't be quite the same person I was when I started out towards you months ago.

I don't mean changed in any big, existential way, but changed in a series of small ways that comes from conquering the small, sometimes mundane challenges that we all face along the way. Changed by every tree I've seen, every conversation I've shared with my running friends, changed by dry heaving along the side of a country road. That one wasn't my favourite part of training to meet you, I must say.

Nothing about my life will be different when I cross you tomorrow. I will not have changed the world, my problems will not be solved, my mortgage won't have disappeared. I will still miss my parents, I will still laugh with my kids, I will still get up on Monday and go to work. I will still battle depression and anxiety, and I will still be perfectly imperfect Annie.

And that's all just fine with me.

I've learned as I have grown up (yes, still kinda working on that!) that only one thing matters more than the journey. That is, the people who share the steps with you.

Tomorrow I will run with a couple of thousand other people who have shared similar challenges to reach the line with me. We will run as a community in spirit and as one in a shared goal. How.Freaking.Amazing.

Tomorrow I will run with my training partner, who has taken every step of the journey with me. Special bonds are formed in shared experiences. Treat him well, and bring him home safe.

Tomorrow I will run into the arms of my friends and family along the race route. I will take their encouragement and hugs and use them to push my very likely exhausted spirit towards you.

So, Mississauga Marathon finish line, we will meet tomorrow. I'm looking forward to meeting you, and seeing old friends and new along the way.

Watch out world, 'cause here I come.

Find Your CORE

"Let's Go To The Ex"Day 4 of 26.2

Friday. I love Fridays! Nothing much to report really, so I will mostly let the pictures do the talking today.

Short 6K run this morning with the birdies

Last minute trip to chiropractor to see if he can help with some knee and hip pain I've been experiencing. His answer was this pretty design on the back of knee. No fair. It doesn't match the outfit I had planned!

Dr. Poray is a KT Tape artist!

Then I headed out to Mississauga to pick up race packages,numbers,check out the booths and other fun stuff.

Getting our "Expo" on!

My new lucky number!

Size 50 shoe, anyone?

"the lovely number lady - volunteers are awesome and make events like this happen!"

Stocking up on my favourite bars - SOOOOO yummy!!

ALL the goodies - great swag bag - thanks Mississauga Marathon!

Find Your CORE