"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are."
That right there is some LOVELY sentiment.
It's St.Valentines' Day, the time for romantic love and grand gestures of flowers, champagne, chocolates, diamonds.....whatever. As my friend Alex shared in her brilliant blog: I Don't Blog (yes - check her out she's amazing and my inspiration for all things) all men really want for Valentines' Day is a blow job. I can find little evidence that disputes this so I won't argue it.
I'm a sucker for love. And I always thought I had found my soulmate. Until I stepped out to be completely and honestly who I am.
I'm a sucker for romance. I have had the grandest gestures surprise me, but the most memorable are the simple, thoughtful things that tell me that the giver knows, completely and honestly, who I am.
I love romantic movies, especially classics and fairy tales, where true love wins out and happily ever after is the order of the day.
Who among us is immune to the lure of being loved so completely, so truthfully, so purely, that we feel safe enough to pursue our dreams and live our lives confidently, honestly and with the utmost belief in ourselves and our worth.
Why, though, do we outsource this all important job of soulmate to another imperfect being?
In other words, why do we not empower ourselves, when we alone hold that precious key that unlocks our own self worth.
No one completes you. You have every single tool dwelling within you to be what you want, achieve what you want and live how you want. You even have every ounce of bravery required to be wholly and truthfully you. You. You have it all.
As you go through life you will find all manner of connections with people.
If you are lucky you will love someone so deeply that their name is always on the tip of your tongue and their face is the most beautiful sight you will ever see.
If you are lucky you will love someone so deeply that you feel completely and utterly lost without them in your life, or even at the very thought.
If you are lucky you will love someone so deeply that the thought of even a single trouble crossing their path makes you want to move mountains to change that.
If you are lucky you will love someone so much that your heart grows 5 times its size when you see them.
If you are lucky you will love someone so much that you want them to succeed, to win, to achieve, to be recognized as the best and you want this more for them than you ever would for yourself.
If you are lucky you will love someone so completely flawed and fucked up that you realize how normal it is to be flawed and fucked up.
If you are really lucky you will be loved in return, and accepted as wholly who you are. No matter what that may be.
This is not romantic love, this is real love. These and so many other facets of love can be fulfilled by one or many people, family, friends, lovers, husbands, wives.....it doesn't matter. Love is love. And it is your reflection and starting point for building a relationship for yourself with your real soulmate. YOU.
Look in the mirror.
Love that face.
Look in your heart.
Love that too.
Bring YOU to your own attention so that YOU can change your life.
Show yourself everything that holds you back.
Forgive yourself for being imperfect. Praise yourself for being brave.
Complete yourself. Hold your own keys. Be confident and be free.
Love yourself in a way that frees you to be everything you wish to be.
Then go and change the world. Or whatever makes you happy.
Being loved is important. But being love is everything.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get my pint of ice cream and pint of Guiness and send anti-Valentine's Day messages to all those who done me wrong.
I may be evolved, but I'm still a work in progress, after all.
Find Your CORE