If the overwhelming theme of my 2015 was "Let It Go", then it is becoming abundantly clear to me that 2016 is going to be about moving forward.
The thing about letting go, is that often it is too tempting to let it ALL go. It is not a surprise to those who know me that I have battled the desire, throughout a difficult and dark 2015, to walk way. Actually, run away.
I tried once last year to really leave everything behind. Fortunately, I had a few (a lot) of friends who wouldn't let me, and one friend who saw me try to sneak away, and fought for me.
Some days I still want to run. Run far away. Not ever look back. But really, I just want to move on.
In the midst of my challenging year, I don't have to look far to find so very much to be grateful for, and it is in these incredible blessings that I will find both my reason and my strength to move forward.
I have added so many new and incredible relationships to my life through my new job.
I am finding ways to gather my people back into my life, as I have stepped back from some relationships that fed my happiness and joy in order to adapt to so much change. I need my people, and I know they understand, and will be waiting. Hold on tight, girls! I'm coming back.
This will be, the last "Find Your CORE" blog. Not because I am letting it go, but because I am moving on. COREfitness and Wellness also will be dissolved. This is part of my past, and I am beyond grateful for it, for feeding my children and bringing me some of the most wonderful people ever.
I am still planning on teaching, and in fact expanding, my current fitness classes and personal training, and this is a priority for me, because moving forward means doing what I love.
I will be blogging, but in a different direction, and I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I will enjoy writing it. Annie's Hope, my dreamchild foundation for Mental Health for youth, is going to be a real thing. It must. It is needed, and it is my calling to make big things happen there.
So that's the bare bones of my plan to move forward. To continue to let go, whilst gathering all the tools I need to move ahead and change the world. Because I know I am meant to do big things. I am not good at anything, but I am determined, and I recognize that I am unstoppable. It's time I proved it.
All this is not going to happen tomorrow. The last year has taught me to be patient and realistic with myself, and I want to enjoy the process again. Bit by bit, we rebuild, stronger and better than before. I recognize what a fantastic opportunity this is, and intend to make good on it.
To my darling Katie - you always tell me the absolute truth. When I am laying on the kitchen floor, it is your voice I hear yelling at me to get the fuck up, and then whispering gently, because I love you. And because you are worth it.
To my SharkL our runs have changed my life. Thank you for listening. And not being gentle with me. And for your always laugh worthy occasion cards and healing lemon loaf.
To my Lil'Kim - for understanding. And for making me laugh. And for giving me the nickname, "slutpig" which I wear with pride. Never settle - our motto for life.
To Sue - it started with a run, and will never end. Thank you for noticing me, and feeding me, and seeing that I need you in my life.
To all of my darling people, CORE and otherwise: I never let you go, but I had to step away. Thank you for being right there as I step back in. Kinda like you had the confidence in me all along. Which is kinda the best feeling ever.
To all of the dear lovely people I have met in my crazy last year, many of whom I will line up to run with at the Goodlife Marathon on Sunday: Thank you for the acceptance.It is an honour to share my favourite activity with so many truly wonderful human beings. Thank you for making me feel welcome, and a valued part of our community. I don't know where I would be without you all. Our motto at the Whitby Running Room is "a place and a pace for everyone". With humility, I finally accept that that even includes a place for me, and I am grateful.
So let's raise a glass (or since it's morning, maybe a mug?) to moving forward. I can't quite believe that it's time, but man am I excited!
Cheers! And FIND YOUR CORE