So, I pulled out my hair. I rocked in the corner a time or two. And tried to let it be. Isn't this what I had wanted for myself? To try on all the faces and find out what was really me? To be safe to experiment in my own home. To be loved despite it all? And mostly, to be accepted even if the ugly came with the beauty?
I haven't seen the movie Frozen and I realize how lucky I am to have dodged that parental bullet. But I am going to watch it now - on purpose. Because the other day, my daughter played it for me on her piano and sang the song, "Let It Go".
Listening to her sing, I was brought back to my younger days, watching my Disney Princess, Ariel the Little Mermaid. I used to sing the song, "Part of my World" at the top of my lungs around the house too.
It's interesting the progression of Disney Princesses and how it relates to the empowerment of women through the ages.
My Mum's Disney Princess: Snow White
"Some day my prince will comeMy Mum was stiff upper lip, hide the emotions, outside veneer perfect "let's not talk about it" repressed woman to a tee.
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know
Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true"
My Disney Princess: Ariel, the Little Mermaid
"What would I give if I could live out of these waters?I grew up hiding under the guise of perfection, seeking to be something I wasn't and desperate to break through and be myself and break through, but not brave enough.Longing.
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Bet'cha on land they understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women sick of swimmin'
Ready to stand"
Amy's Disney Princess: Elsa from Frozen
"It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
And she is. Free to be herself, whatever that may be. And to be welcomed, open arms, into the safety of her family whenever it is needed.
I vow to let her see my scars and see that I am not ashamed of them.
I vow to let her get hurt, let her dust herself off and feel her own strength.
I vow to let her cry when she is sad and hide in bed for a while when the world gets too tough.
I vow to cheer her on when she throws off the covers and confronts her fears.
I vow to learn and grow myself from her example, and to share that with her.
I vow to tell her the truth at all times, even when it is hard.
I vow to train her brother to be a street fighter to beat the boys away.
I love the movie Frozen,even though I don't know what it is about. Every time I hear Amy sing, I see the truth that she will experience a freedom that was never possible for me.
And maybe, just maybe, she'll see that I'm free too.
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway!
P.S. Amy is now totally a human being. She would like me to clarify that she is,in fact, an AWESOME human being who has had her ears pierced and would like to be paid for using her name and likeness in my blog. She sends her thank you's to her many fans.