Yep - that's me. Progressively over the last couple of months my pants have been getting tighter. Like, pass me the vaseline and the shoe horn kind of tighter.
I work out 6 days a week with regularity and I average at least 22K running. I have a very physical job. I eat very healthily. And yet, since January, I have been feeling a change.
Now my workouts have been lower key - due to a bad back, no iron whatsoever and a serious lack of energy, but that shouldn't make a difference this distinct. For the first time in forever I have a legitimate reason to be uncomfortable in my own skin.
Three things are happening:
i) my health is out of whack. My levels are off and I'm exhausted all the time.
ii) I'm getting older. It is true (unfortunately) that as we get older our metabolism changes and we can't get away with occasional bad choices like we used to.
iii) I've forgotten to eat because I'm hungry and let my mood/boredom/the sun's presence in Jupiter/ all designate my eating habits.
Darn it. Home made crackers are healthy right? But, probably not 6 of them everytime I step in the kitchen. So I'm on crackdown. NO sugar (I felt great when I watched my sugar intake for 6 months last year). And no more mindless eating for me. It's a quick and easy trap to fall into - and I'm climbing out before this becomes a habit and my overlarge bottom gets me stuck.
Portion sizes, hunger cues, and overall my sense of how I feel in general will tell me if I am on the right track. And if my pants are still a bit tight when I'm sorted out and eating mindfully and happily again? Well, that's okay, that's meant to be. But I refuse to be less than 100% physically if I can help it. After all - I, like all of you, have loads of battles ahead to face, and I'll take them head on, at my best.
Now please, please, please hide all of your chocolate, ice cream and french bread if you see me coming. A girl only has so much self control, you know :)
Find Your CORE!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Saturday, April 19, 2014
"What I Know For Sure" Easter 2014 Edition
Hey blog readers. Thought I would share a short list of my observations and predictions for Easter 2014. Enjoy!
- the first little stems that poke up through the spring earth (or snow, as it was this year) are the GREENEST green ever!
- that my Lily Of The Valley plant completely changes location every single spring. I give it another 3 years until total world domination.
- bunnies, though cute, do not actually leave offerings of foil covers chocolate balls. They do, however, leave lots of other similarly coloured and shaped offerings pretty much everywhere. Not recommended for consumption.
- fear the wrath of the two frazzled looking Moms, both simultaneously leaping for the last packages of Peeps on the shelf on Easter "Eve".
- prepare to line up for.freakin.ever. pretty much anywhere the day before a stat holiday. Because these types of situations clearly invoke an oncoming apocolyptic type response in our world of plenty. Two shopping carts full of goods and food. Hey, I'm not judging. I know there will be a WHOLE 24 HOURS until they can shop again. Clearly a cause for panic.
- that we Canadians bear a striking resemblance to the Naked Mole Rat (see picture below) in the early days of spring weather,nervously stepping outside our winter cave, blinded by the sunshine, noses inquisitively twitching.
- above mentioned noses begin to smell the inevitable spring smells. Mud. Dog poop left from ALL winter long. Rain and worms.
- bird's singing IS truly the most beautiful song
- sunrises across farmers fields mingle with the early morning mist
- garbage hidden under 24 feet of winter snow,which, after the thaw, has become the outdoor decorating choice of all suburbia
- next to bird song, the most wondrous noises are made by children playing outside, road hockey sticks scraping, bicycle bells ringing, happy voices raised.
My predictions for the coming weeks:
- that my children, and children everywhere that Cadbury's has access to, will be on a sugar and fat high by 7am - Easter morning.
-that soon the stinky spring air will be replaced by the freshness of fresh grass, spring flowers, BBQ's grilling, and lilacs blossoming.
- that Canadian's will start to smile more readily and engage with each other
- that short sleeve tops and shorts will be brought out of storage and body image woes will elevate by exponential amounts
- that spring will proceed into glorious summer
Congratulations everyone - we survived winter. Cheers!
- the first little stems that poke up through the spring earth (or snow, as it was this year) are the GREENEST green ever!
- that my Lily Of The Valley plant completely changes location every single spring. I give it another 3 years until total world domination.
- bunnies, though cute, do not actually leave offerings of foil covers chocolate balls. They do, however, leave lots of other similarly coloured and shaped offerings pretty much everywhere. Not recommended for consumption.
- fear the wrath of the two frazzled looking Moms, both simultaneously leaping for the last packages of Peeps on the shelf on Easter "Eve".
- prepare to line up for.freakin.ever. pretty much anywhere the day before a stat holiday. Because these types of situations clearly invoke an oncoming apocolyptic type response in our world of plenty. Two shopping carts full of goods and food. Hey, I'm not judging. I know there will be a WHOLE 24 HOURS until they can shop again. Clearly a cause for panic.
- that we Canadians bear a striking resemblance to the Naked Mole Rat (see picture below) in the early days of spring weather,nervously stepping outside our winter cave, blinded by the sunshine, noses inquisitively twitching.
- bird's singing IS truly the most beautiful song
- sunrises across farmers fields mingle with the early morning mist
- garbage hidden under 24 feet of winter snow,which, after the thaw, has become the outdoor decorating choice of all suburbia
- next to bird song, the most wondrous noises are made by children playing outside, road hockey sticks scraping, bicycle bells ringing, happy voices raised.
My predictions for the coming weeks:
- that my children, and children everywhere that Cadbury's has access to, will be on a sugar and fat high by 7am - Easter morning.
-that soon the stinky spring air will be replaced by the freshness of fresh grass, spring flowers, BBQ's grilling, and lilacs blossoming.
- that Canadian's will start to smile more readily and engage with each other
- that short sleeve tops and shorts will be brought out of storage and body image woes will elevate by exponential amounts
- that spring will proceed into glorious summer
Congratulations everyone - we survived winter. Cheers!
Friday, April 11, 2014
"Are the Voices in your Head"
People have told me that they hear my voice in their head, encouraging them to work harder, eat better, move more, not to skip the workout, keep smiling, well, if you'v ebeen to any of my classes, you know. "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable"!
This makes me shudder and terrifies me on many levels. First - I've heard my voice on tape - egads! Like nails on a chalkboard. Second, and more terrifying, I immediately think you hear MY voice (like the one in MY head). Then I panic and wonder which one, before realizing what you mean.
Yes, I have a voice or two (or ten but whose counting anyway)in my head. I have logical, pragmatic, intelligent, positive, clear headed Annie. And then my alter ego: negative, passive aggressive, condescending, cruel and controlling. I also have others, but you have to marry me to meet those ones (ie/PMS Annie). Consider yourself spared, and consider Sean a saint!
Now I'm not schizophrenic, or bipolar. I'm a product of growing up believing certain things are true (I'm a failure/I'm unlikeable/I'm not good enough) and as an adult have learned that these things are not, logically, true.But emotionally, these things are harder to discount, especially after having believed them for 30years. Imagine finding out at 30 that the earth was not round, and had undisputable proof that this was a fact, after knowing that the earth was round for so long?
Exactly.
So, I have to battle back the things I once believed wholeheartedly. And replace them with hard, rational evidence. And remind myself of this. Often. This is how I battle back and stay positive, happy and live a normal life.
So in the end I'm so glad that my voice has become part of other peoples thought processes. Because sometimes when I teeter on the edge of make a bad decision or succumbing to a challenging day, and my positive voice isn't enough - I call upon my own army of peoples positive voices to fight the battle along side me.
I can only hope I have lent my voice to some positive life choices. And I encourage everyone to be a positive voice in their family and community. You never know when someone may be storing your words up for a battle later on.
Find Your CORE!
This makes me shudder and terrifies me on many levels. First - I've heard my voice on tape - egads! Like nails on a chalkboard. Second, and more terrifying, I immediately think you hear MY voice (like the one in MY head). Then I panic and wonder which one, before realizing what you mean.
Yes, I have a voice or two (or ten but whose counting anyway)in my head. I have logical, pragmatic, intelligent, positive, clear headed Annie. And then my alter ego: negative, passive aggressive, condescending, cruel and controlling. I also have others, but you have to marry me to meet those ones (ie/PMS Annie). Consider yourself spared, and consider Sean a saint!
Now I'm not schizophrenic, or bipolar. I'm a product of growing up believing certain things are true (I'm a failure/I'm unlikeable/I'm not good enough) and as an adult have learned that these things are not, logically, true.But emotionally, these things are harder to discount, especially after having believed them for 30years. Imagine finding out at 30 that the earth was not round, and had undisputable proof that this was a fact, after knowing that the earth was round for so long?
Exactly.
So, I have to battle back the things I once believed wholeheartedly. And replace them with hard, rational evidence. And remind myself of this. Often. This is how I battle back and stay positive, happy and live a normal life.
So in the end I'm so glad that my voice has become part of other peoples thought processes. Because sometimes when I teeter on the edge of make a bad decision or succumbing to a challenging day, and my positive voice isn't enough - I call upon my own army of peoples positive voices to fight the battle along side me.
I can only hope I have lent my voice to some positive life choices. And I encourage everyone to be a positive voice in their family and community. You never know when someone may be storing your words up for a battle later on.
Find Your CORE!
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
"Part Of Your World" Mother's & Daughters
My daughter has turned into a human being. When she was born, she was literally delivered from the womb a smiling, joyful, singing bundle of blonde curly love. When she turned two years old she proceeded to grow two rapidly protruding horns from each temple and an attitude as twisted as her adorable little ringlets. She tested. She emoted. She climbed. She jumped. She whined. She manipulated. She fretted. She worried. She yelled. She practised calculated silence. She tried on every face, every challenge, every emotion known to man. My daughter was a tiny little bundle of identity crisis. We couldn't stand each other. If I said the sky was blue, she would argue it was pink. The war for power was waged in the hallowed halls of our usually serene abode. I loved her so much, but I had NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH HER!!!
So, I pulled out my hair. I rocked in the corner a time or two. And tried to let it be. Isn't this what I had wanted for myself? To try on all the faces and find out what was really me? To be safe to experiment in my own home. To be loved despite it all? And mostly, to be accepted even if the ugly came with the beauty?
I haven't seen the movie Frozen and I realize how lucky I am to have dodged that parental bullet. But I am going to watch it now - on purpose. Because the other day, my daughter played it for me on her piano and sang the song, "Let It Go".
Listening to her sing, I was brought back to my younger days, watching my Disney Princess, Ariel the Little Mermaid. I used to sing the song, "Part of my World" at the top of my lungs around the house too.
It's interesting the progression of Disney Princesses and how it relates to the empowerment of women through the ages.
My Mum's Disney Princess: Snow White
My Disney Princess: Ariel, the Little Mermaid
Amy's Disney Princess: Elsa from Frozen
And she is. Free to be herself, whatever that may be. And to be welcomed, open arms, into the safety of her family whenever it is needed.
I vow to let her see my scars and see that I am not ashamed of them.
I vow to let her get hurt, let her dust herself off and feel her own strength.
I vow to let her cry when she is sad and hide in bed for a while when the world gets too tough.
I vow to cheer her on when she throws off the covers and confronts her fears.
I vow to learn and grow myself from her example, and to share that with her.
I vow to tell her the truth at all times, even when it is hard.
I vow to train her brother to be a street fighter to beat the boys away.
I love the movie Frozen,even though I don't know what it is about. Every time I hear Amy sing, I see the truth that she will experience a freedom that was never possible for me.
And maybe, just maybe, she'll see that I'm free too.
P.S. Amy is now totally a human being. She would like me to clarify that she is,in fact, an AWESOME human being who has had her ears pierced and would like to be paid for using her name and likeness in my blog. She sends her thank you's to her many fans.
So, I pulled out my hair. I rocked in the corner a time or two. And tried to let it be. Isn't this what I had wanted for myself? To try on all the faces and find out what was really me? To be safe to experiment in my own home. To be loved despite it all? And mostly, to be accepted even if the ugly came with the beauty?
I haven't seen the movie Frozen and I realize how lucky I am to have dodged that parental bullet. But I am going to watch it now - on purpose. Because the other day, my daughter played it for me on her piano and sang the song, "Let It Go".
Listening to her sing, I was brought back to my younger days, watching my Disney Princess, Ariel the Little Mermaid. I used to sing the song, "Part of my World" at the top of my lungs around the house too.
It's interesting the progression of Disney Princesses and how it relates to the empowerment of women through the ages.
My Mum's Disney Princess: Snow White
"Some day my prince will comeMy Mum was stiff upper lip, hide the emotions, outside veneer perfect "let's not talk about it" repressed woman to a tee.
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know
Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true"
My Disney Princess: Ariel, the Little Mermaid
"What would I give if I could live out of these waters?I grew up hiding under the guise of perfection, seeking to be something I wasn't and desperate to break through and be myself and break through, but not brave enough.Longing.
What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?
Bet'cha on land they understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women sick of swimmin'
Ready to stand"
Amy's Disney Princess: Elsa from Frozen
"It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I'm free!"
And she is. Free to be herself, whatever that may be. And to be welcomed, open arms, into the safety of her family whenever it is needed.
I vow to let her see my scars and see that I am not ashamed of them.
I vow to let her get hurt, let her dust herself off and feel her own strength.
I vow to let her cry when she is sad and hide in bed for a while when the world gets too tough.
I vow to cheer her on when she throws off the covers and confronts her fears.
I vow to learn and grow myself from her example, and to share that with her.
I vow to tell her the truth at all times, even when it is hard.
I vow to train her brother to be a street fighter to beat the boys away.
I love the movie Frozen,even though I don't know what it is about. Every time I hear Amy sing, I see the truth that she will experience a freedom that was never possible for me.
And maybe, just maybe, she'll see that I'm free too.
Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway!
P.S. Amy is now totally a human being. She would like me to clarify that she is,in fact, an AWESOME human being who has had her ears pierced and would like to be paid for using her name and likeness in my blog. She sends her thank you's to her many fans.
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