"When DOVE Cries"

So, this is going to be unpopular. I don't like the Dove Beauty Campaign video going around the internet right now. Where women are asked to describe themselves, and then people are asked to describe them, and we see that other's perceptions are different than our own, and that we fail to see the good things,etc...insert teary response here. It's a beautiful video - I get it and I get the point...to a point.

Now, don't get me wrong - much of what Dove has done, exposing photo shop truths, featuring absolutely stunning woman of all sizes, shapes, colours and ages, flaws and all, and opening many women's eyes (for the first time) to the possibility that fitting into the "norm" set by the tabloids and fashion industry isn't necessarily the most realistic or attractive way to look. But. And it's a big one. I think they have missed the mark on this one.

We must stop fixating on the outer person, and while it is nice to be told we are beautiful, tall, shapely, have nice eyes, etc,etc, etc.... we are STILL MISSING THE POINT!!! We fail to remember that true self esteem is built from what we do, how we do it, and how that is appreciated by our community. Self esteem derived from pretty compliments and physical comparisons fail to make a lasting impression on us in a positive way.

 Think back to the things you have been accomplished over the years - what do you remember? 

The first time you got the job? The goal you scored at the championship game? Your improved mark in Math after struggling, studying, and working your butt off to improve? The time you helped someone in need? I'm betting you have a huge file of "self esteem builders" like this stored away up in that head of yours. Now weigh the times the people recognized these traits/accomplishments against the time someone told you, "your hair looks nice today" or "those jeans make your bum look great!". Now these are nice temporary fixes to boost us up on a crappy day, but apart from Sean reminding me that he said them, I never think to pull them out when I'm feeling low.

On a related note, I can remember almost EVERY negative thing anyone has EVER said about my appearance, and taken each piece of criticism directly to heart. So why do we file all the bad - and tune out the good? I think it's because we would rather dwell on the negative comments about the things we can't really change, than work on the real things we need to address in our lives.

We convince ourselves that what we are isn't really good enough, and file out the things we hear to the contrary. We take on the weight of achieving perfection, to dull the pain of the truth we all know - perfection is impossible. 

So - I would have preferred to have seen the women in the Dove video have their negative body image rebuked by people who saw WHO and WHAT these women are - not comment on what they look like. We have proof above (and in our own heads) that deeds and actions speak louder than words, even well meaning ones.

So next time you are faced with anyone dealing with body image/self esteem issues: give them a hug. Point out the great things that you love about them best. Remind them that they are worthy.

It may or may not surprise you that I suffered from body image and self esteem issues and related, so badly that not that long ago I could barely work up the courage to walk out the front door. This Sunday will be no different. I will stand in front of my front door and the familiar fluttering of anxiety will hit me. Not because I am scheduled to run a half-marathon, but because I fear what people will think of me. Will I fit in? Am I too big/too small/too anything to be a part of something like this? Even worse, am I not enough? 

I am planning on grabbing my protein carby toast, a banana, and the slew of evidence that I am everything I need and more. I will store away each voice that has ever spoken the truth to me, and listen to their words from every step of the 13.1 miles. I will step out the door and run, even if my spandex run pants DON'T make my bum look good ;)

I will run for all the people who suffer from mental illness, anxiety, depression, panic and eating disorders. I will run for my family and friends, those here and those gone, that they know I will always choose to run towards health - towards them. I will run because I am good enough , and because I am.

Build your house with deeds and words, and leave the physical behind. After all, He who made you is the only one who matters, and He thinks you look perfect - just the way you are.