Friday, August 3, 2012

Fear Not!

"There is nothing to fear but fear itself"
"To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." Bertrand Russell
"The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear." Gandhi
Google "fear" and you'll find a load of quotes similar to those above. There are pages of advice, inspiration and wisdom about fear, rivalled only in volume by similar sentiments about "love". Which isn't actually that disimilar, really.
What do you fear? Accidents? Spiders? Lots of people fear snakes, full moons, scary movies. We are a species that thrives on the adrenalin of fear, originally ingrained in us from our neandrethal roots by things that actually were really terrifying...wild animals, lack of food, square wheels, the first pyromaniac...but today we don't really have a tonne of direct reasons to fear in our daily lives. I am not discounting the stress that world issues, war, the environment and watching the news can cause us, these things and more make me worry too. But in our day to day lives we have little reason to feel fear like our forefathers did. We live in a time of luxury and relative safety here in our wonderful country. But that does not stop the emotion from crowding our lives, and often.
Fear sucks. It tricks you into missing out on opportunities that will enrich your life. It holds you back and gives us an excuse not to live life to it's fullest.
I have tonnes of fear: roller coasters make me shudder, heights make me tremble, watching my kids grow up is kind of terrifying in itself. These fears and others I can conquer. I refuse to let these types of fears get in my way of enjoying each day. I have had a more difficult time vanquishing my fear of my mortal enemy: failure.
Yep - I have always feared failure more than any venomous creature, bungee jump or impending danger. And lately is has started to creep in to my running routine. I realize now that I have been running with feaar as my constant training partner, hearing it's voice telling me not to attempt more because I am bound to fail. That if I run faster/longer/stronger.. I will hurt, I will suffer and I will fail. I have been running safe for about two months, not sure what started this off, but I am now determined to to finish it.
So last night I tackled my monster head on. I ran like I used to, lungs pumping, sweat pouring and intense. Every time my fear spoke up, telling me to stop, I used it's negative voice to push on harder. I didn't play it safe, I hurt, my heart pounded and I felt great. Back came the adrenaline, back came the excitement, and most importantly, away went the fear. I CAN do this, on my own terms, at my own pace, pacing easy when I want to, and pushing to the limit when want to as well. I finished yesterdays run with a smile on my face, and a spring in my step that had been lacking, made heavy by fear.
There are times to push ahead, there are times to accept failure. There is never time to remain frozen by fear.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Mark Twain
Find your CORE!

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