"That's What Friends Are For"

friend

 [frend] 

noun

1.

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2.

a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter

3.

a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: 

4.

a member of the same nation, party, etc.

5.

( initial capital letter  ) a member of the Religious Society of Friends

verb (used with object)

7.

Rare. to befriend.

8.

to add (a person) to one's list of contacts on a social-networking Web site

I love having friends. I love making new friends. Like a crack whore 

hungry for my fix, the comraderie and love shared between two people in

a relationship is something I seek. 

I didn't cultivate long lasting friendships growing up due to my own inability 

to stick out rough patches for fear that they were my fault. Safer to walk

 away than to face failure. Now, though, I admit to seeking out people to befriend,

 interact with and learn from. 

I have not always been a good friend, and still often fall down on the job, but

I have been blessed in my "adulthood" to have friends who love me just the same. 

Sometimes I am not the easiest person to keep in contact with, get together with 

and sometimes I am impossible to be around (yep - I admit it!) But friends make it 

through these waves to the other side.The ones who stop surfing?

 I love the time I had with them, and wish them well and hope we meet again :)

I have people in my life who know who I am, fully and completely, and they like me 

despite this. I pray each night that the people who I befriend know how much I 

appreciate their presence in my life whether I saw them last night, last week, 

last year or last decade.

So it got me thinking about how much happier and whole I am with the peace of 

knowing so many wonderful people, and of course, I wondered if there were health 

benefits to having good friendships!

I loved this blog post: 

http://smartliving365.com/five-big-benefits-from-having-keeping-friends/

So hug your friends, laugh, cry and love this February - after all - it's good for 

your health!

Find your CORE.

This post is dedicated to all those who I plan on rocking on a front porch, or 

sitting on a park bench  with when I'm old and grumpy. 

You say you want a "Resolution"? Well, you know....we all want to change the world.

I hate resolutions. There. I said it. Every year we self flagellate over the things we do wrong. What we don't do enough of, where we fail. "In 2012 I totally sucked at.......",    "I need to get better at...". Regrets, regrets, regrets......failure, failure, failure.  What a great way to start a new year! Wallowing in misery at our own shortcomings! It's no wonder we never achieve these resolutions, we've already told ourselves that we are incapable.
Let's assume some basic things about ourselves:
- we are basically good human beings, capable of kindness, empathy and love
- we try hard to continue to be the above
- we have or are seeking employment or service to continue to contribute in some positive way to our community
- we want to be happy, and we wish this for all people
- we want to live long, healthy lives
Now what is so wrong with that person? They seem pretty fine to me. And I know that lots of great things are performed by that person each and every day.
This year I propose the "Un-Resolution": a promise to yourself to celebrate the things you do well to achieve the goals, lifestyle that you desire.
So, I, Annie Tiffin, resolve to continue doing the following things that I am really good at:
(a) watching movies: I have rediscovered how much I love movies. I love storytelling. And I have worked hard at being able to tune out the rest of the world and actually enjoy the experience again.
(b) snuggling my kitty: Kitty is happy, I am happy. Everybody wins
(c) eating my bananas sideways: yes, I am a non-traditional banana consumer, and proud!
(d) balancing Mummy/Wifey guilt with business demands: it's a thin line, and sometimes it tips badly one way or the other. But I am learning to deal with it and helping my family deal as well. It's a process..but a worthy one.
(e) eating my fruits/veggies: I rock at this!
(f) passion: I have it - for my work, my family, my athletic pursuits, music, reading, my friendships. If I love something, I am never less than passionate about it, and am going to keep the flame alive!
(g) telling my "people" that I love them, and showing it too: If I love you, you know it!!And I want there never to be any doubt.
(h) Doing the right thing, before doing the easy or more profitable thing. I have had some tough decisions to make in the last year, but I always err on the human side of things, and try to do the right thing. It hurts sometimes, but I really do believe that it's never the wrong decision to put people over profit.
(i) Breaking out in random song: anywhere, anytime. Not a favourite with my family and friends, but I feel like it's an important part of me! Besides, I actually never know when I'm doing it, I just know I have no intention of curbing it!
(j) identifying stress/anxiety and coping healthily: something I have been getting better at. Breathing, exercise, social time...or simply asking someone I love for a hug or some time together. I am learning to ask for help when I need it, and to take quiet time for myself when needed.
(k) kissing my handsome husband. Often. It's good for my soul.

I am quite happy with my list of things I do well and plan to continue in 2013 and beyond. Thing of the things you do well, celebrate them and continue to implement them in your lives! You rock!

I do have a few goals that I hope to achieve in 2013, and they break into 3 categories: Physical, Mental and Social. I do always make goals, because otherwise I get lazy and let things slip by the wayside. Some things do require some motiviation!
Physical: Run a Half-Marathon. Booked for April 22nd. Also to get back on my bike and do the Ride4UnitedWay 160K ride with Sean this summer.
Mental: Continue to educate myself in deep breathing techniques and put them into practise. Also - this summer my goal is to learn how to manage both business and household finances, a process I have avoided like the plague and am woefully ignorant of.
Social: make time for going out, with friends, like an adult.

Cheers to 2013 being full of joy, health and happiness, no matter what your goals, resolutions or un-resolutions!

Happy New Years - Find your CORE!

It's beginning to look a lot like....

Christmas? Where's the snow, the cool winter air nipping at your nose? Although the retail world switched to Christmas 3 months ago, there is little evidence elsewhere that the day is approaching.
It is a confusing time to be a human in the "civilized" world. Turn on the news today and you will be inundated with gun violence, fiscal cliffs,thefts from charities,end of the world prophecies, labour disputes and civil war.  It can become difficult to find sunlight in dark times.
Sometimes the wisest words come from the mouth of babes. This morning my daughter looked up at me and said, "Mummy. Christmas is my favourite day ever!" So I asked her why, waiting for the inevitable answer concerning gifts, toys, treats and more.
"Christmas is the one day that all we have to do is love one another"
Well then. What can we do, to change the bleakest news stories? Individually, not a whole lot. But as a collective, we can take this Christmas to love one another, as Amy says. Be a positive force for hope, human kindness and love in your home, community, workplace and beyond. Show love to those whose lives you touch each day. After all, if a seven year old can embrace the fact that love changes lives, why can't we as adults?

Deck the halls. Trim the trees. Enjoy some holiday treats, (in moderation!) guilt-free. Stuff the bird. Hug your family.  Call your friends. Pray for a better world for our children. Think of those less fortunate. Praise those who serve and protect us, here and abroad. Avoid your mother in law. Love in abundance.

May your days be filled with love - both given and received.  Merry Christmas!!!

"Silver Threads Among the Gold"

I am getting old. Yes, I know - you can pooh-pooh the idea as much as you wish, and say I'm a youngster, still youthful and all that, but the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. I have noticed some new "crinkles", as my lovely daughter calls them, around my eyes. At the doctor, I had to ask about a small lump on my arm (that in my head, I had expanded to the size of a watermelon and was sure it was at the very least radioactive). His verdict? It's just something that comes with getting older. He didn't think it was so funny when I asked him for a prescription for this aging disease. He told me to ask a pharmacist. They can write their own scrips now. Nice.
I wander up and down the aisles at Shopper's Drug Mart like a hungry orphan in a bakery. My mouth waters at the descriptions: "anti-aging",  "age defying", "youthful look" - all subtle euphemisms for: "If you are looking at me you're getting old".
Anti-aging? Does this mean that it stops the aging process, or is merely against aging in general? Hmmmm.....
Spas and salons (of which Brooklin consists, along with fish and chips store, but I digress, although - I do often see lots of older people in the fish and chips stores quite often, so maybe there IS a connection) do not help to demystify the aging conundrum either. Facials, collagen fillers, botox treatments, masks....it sounds painful, and expensive.
I admit that my go-to response to my own aging process is deny,deny,deny. I dye my hair at the first sign of a peeping grey. I pluck unwanted facial hair like a sniper on a secret mission. I buy bras that help me defy gravity, and pants that cover up the dreaded muffin top. I tuck, cover, slather, change, deny, deny, deny.
But really, what's the point? Am I better off because I try to look like I did when I was twenty? Because I know for a fact that I do NOT want to feel, or be the same person I was when I was twenty. So why do I want to look like her?
Fact is, time marches on. I'm happy, crinkles and all. And I know that one day I'll have more wrinkles than not, my hair with give up the fight with the grey revolution and my boobs will resist being stuffed into a tata tamer from Lululemon in favour of a Playtex comfort bra (hey - at least they'll be somewhere north of the equator!), but I am guessing that I'll still be happy. God willing, I'll have my family and friends by my side, most likely pointing out all my new flaws, and I'll love every second of it.
In the meantime? Deny,deny, DENY!!!

Find your CORE!

You don't know you're beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful.

Warning: This blog expresses a bit (alot) of ranting about a subject that may be controversial or upsetting. I write my blog as a forum to inspire people, make them laugh and hopefully help them learn something about the world or themselves. This one's a far cry from my normal lighthearted fare, so read on at your own risk. I'm feeling passionate.
We have failed our young people. Today's "millenium" generation as it is called is easily the most entitled and spoiled group of young adults in the history of man. We have created them a world where all they need to do is think something for it to become a reality. A click of the mouse, a swipe of a credit card..everything is at their fingertips. For the first 10 years of a child's life we teach them to read, write and do arithmetic. The stricter parents among us teach them how to set the table, make their bed and fold their laundry. If we're lucky they learn a few rudimentary social skills, how to make friends, to be kind and not to talk to strangers.
So if we can call the first 10 years the learning years, we can call the second decade of life the decision years. In the pre-teen and teenage years we expect these children to do all of the following and more:
-choose high school classes that will impact the course their university/college/trade
-choose healthy coping mechanisms to deal with difficulties
-choose NOT to bow to pressure to take drugs, drink, have sex, and all other social ills
-choose a career trajectory, college, university etc..
-make positive choices, friends, jobs, social activities.
I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. And I certainly didn't know how to make such overwhelming decisions when I was a teenager. C'mon - I could barely choose which acne treatment to use.
We ask that, with the above mentioned first decade of learning behind them, they make huge decisions in a time when:
-they are RAGING beasts full of hormones, and overdosing in insecurities
-they really know NOTHING of life, and generally have parents who are just in the process of figuring this shit out themselves.
-they are changeling creatures. They start the decade as children, in children's bodies. In the decision decade they grow physically and emotionally from child to adult.
All this PLUS the fact that this current generation gets handed the whole world...literally...via the internet. Where our teen years had their own horrific angst, ours at least was contained to our community, schools, families. Today - there are no strangers and no boundaries - and no end to the choices a "connected" teenager has to make each day.
In September a 15 year old girl posted a silent video, using flash cards, a black and white chronicle of pain and suffering. A story of abuse, mental illness and pain. Amanda Todd's story is by now known to all Canadians, and we MUST mark this tragedy. A young girl, obviously searching for love and acceptance, her innocence stolen, her self esteem pummeled, her reputation in ruins. I will not spend any time talking about her predators (I refuse to use the word bully, because sexual predator, pedophile, criminal, suits so much more) except to say that they too are suffering from teenagehood, and have chosen, wrongly, to boost themselves up by dragging others down.
Yes, I believe we have failed our teenagers. We look at them with disdain, we cross to the other side of the road when we see a group of them, we fear them. I believe that this is because we still remember the pain of our own torturous years as teenagers. We know the confusion. We still feel the growing pains. We don't want to look them in the eyes, just in case we see something of ourselves mirrored there. We definitely don't want a reminder that part of us may still dwell there.
Teenagers are blank slates, morphing into the adults they will become, searching for confirmation they are on the right path, looking to us to see if they are doing okay. They are looking to be good enough, and we, as a society, look the other way, or sneer back at them, telling them that clearly, they are not.
Amanda Todd has caught public attention like few of the 100's of Canadian teens who commit suicide, and 1000's who attempt, or cut, or suffer from mental/emotional health issues. I believe that this is because she, like few others, actually reached out to us all. We, who can drive YouTube views on videos of a dog sleeping, a dancing parrot or a cuddly kitten to go viral in less than 24 hrs, we missed a plea for help so desperate that words couldn't articulate the pain. Amanda no longer had a voice.
It takes a village to raise a child. From birth to death, we all are still growing up. And those of us with the good fortune to make it to adulthood must behave as we want our next generation to do. With compassion, with humanity and with love. Every child is the collective responsibility of us all, and they deserve to have us all on their side.
So next time you walk past a teenager, or a gaggle of them, catch their eyes, smile, take a chance to engage in conversation if it is appropriate. But most of all, remember that when they look at you they are seeing themselves reflected back in your eyes. Show them that you believe they are worthy, that you see them,and that you know they matter.
Your smile might be the last piece of hope that saves a life.

It looks fresh and fruity like tasty Kool-Aid But the bug that are in it were murdered with raid

Let me begin this blog entry with the following disclaimer: It has NOTHING to do with fitness. Beyond the fact that it occurred in a facility in which fitness classes take place. It's all about bugs. Which, if I may say, are creepy and crawly. And it is October. So thematically I'm not that far off the mark. But I digress.
I am avoiding admitting a wrong that I did this morning. While washing my hands, fixing my hair, getting myself pumped for my upcoming class,I heard a rustle. A menacing purr. The tiny patter of millions of little arthropod legs. That's right. A bug. In the sink. Near me.
I don't love bugs. I love all living things and believe in the sanctity of life. All life. In fact - I drive Sean NUTS demanding he gently remove the spiders from our ceilings, rather than his preferred method of bug removal - the squash and scrape. I don't need to explain. But bugs, they kinda, well, bug me.I just live in denial of their existence unless directly confronted.
This bug was aggressive, terrifying, out for world domination, I sensed it. I panicked. I turned on the tap, and watched all 100,000 legs swirl around as he desperately tried to cling to life. R.I.P Mr.Manylegsscarybug.
Safe now, I composed myself and taught my class, leaving the ordeal behind me, my fears washed away.
After class, as I bent to change my shoes, I heard a rustle. A menacing purr. the tiny patter of millions of little arthropod legs. That's right. Mr.Manylegsscarybug has friends. And they are out for revenge.
It's antenna waved accusingly at me. It tapped some of its hairy little legs (did I mention it has 100,00 of them? Who needs that many? A little over kill in the design plan, if you ask me) and reared up, angrily declaring it's opinion of my bug killing ways, vowing that my rampage would stop here. He was a bug on a mission. But before I could raise my shoe in defense, I took a closer look.

"Are those tears in it's eyes? Did I deprive this bug of a close family member? Maybe the bug I killed was the family breadwinner. What have I done??" Fear turned to guilt. Time to re-evaluate.
Yes - folks, this is actually what it's like inside my head. Do up your seat belts, the ride is not done.
So I left the bug. Which is what I should have done with the first one. I'm not judging those of you who repel bugs in any way that works for you. We are at the top of the food chain for a reason. But for me, I'm going back to being a pacifist. I'm not taking any chances - if there is a insect revolt, there's more of them than us. I'm padding my chances, people!

Find your CORE.

Thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing.

Ahhh, Thanksgiving. The time of year we gather together, count our blessings, and eat a ridiculous amount of food. That blessed preview to the Christmas season, a time to be happy for the abundance of the harvest, and to feel grateful for the ridiculous over indulgence that is our lives. We want for nothing, really. So this Thanksgiving I will be making an effort to remember how lucky I am, and to remind myself and my family that millions of other people in the world lack the very base necessities that I take for granted.
I practice gratitude actively, because it makes me a happier person. The more I remind myself of the wonderful things in my life, the more I desire to work hard to appreciate them, and nurture them.
So here is Annie's list of the little things I will be celebrating this weekend and beyond:
(a) the smell of coffee in the morning. Not just because it smells SO good, but because it means my hubby got up 5 minutes early (which is REALLY early) and thought of me.
(b) a hug from my son. My 8 year old boy is a pretty independent little dude, and affection is definitely at a premium. So when he spontaneously wraps his little arms around me? Priceless.
(c) am always thankful for a day when my cats forget to use my basement as a bathroom and actually use their litter box.
(d) it's completely awesome that I have friends that fulfill all of the following roles in my life
 - that friend that you call, ask them to bring a shovel, tarp, wheelbarrow and an empty trunk and they don't ask why, but pull into the driveway five minutes later.
 - that friend that breaks out into random singing (or rapping) at pretty much exactly the same time as you, and it's a song that no one in the whole civilized world would EVER be caught singing.
 - that friend who does everything way better than you could ever hope, but celebrates all your efforts as if they were the most amazing achievements ever.
 - that friend who, while often out and about, always on the go, who drops everything if you say you need her.
 - those friends who, without them, you would not be the person you are today.
(e)EVERY day, every moment, every second, I am grateful that my daughter is not yet a teenager.
(f) am thankful that no matter how busy I get, God always forgives me when I fail to put Him first, and always welcomes me back, no strings attached.
(g) I am thankful for the amazing health care professionals, nurses, specialists and dr's who care every day for my Dad, who have gone above and beyond the call of duty to care for him and give him dignity in an undignified situation.
(h) mostly I am thankful for the perspective that being 35 has given me, and for finally feeling like a grown up (well, a little anyway). I cherish the ability to be in the moment and love each second of it, and for all the people who make up all the moments of my life.


My love to all people in this wonderful world, to all who have nothing, who fight for peace and equality, who protect and serve, who teach, who comfort, who love. I wish everyone a weekend, in fact a life, full of gratitude (and turkey too!)
Find your CORE.