These Are A Few of My Favourite Things!

Oprah can do it, so why can't I? In fact, if any wants to help me start an "Annie taking over for Oprah" as world guru, trusted girlfriend and queen of all media, please let me know. I'm looking for a campaign manager!
A quick review, though, before I start the first annual "Favourite Things" episode of this blog.  My goals - you remember them, I'm sure, although I try daily to forget them! I am still working hard to find balance between work, home, family and friends. it's not perfect,but I'm doing my best to be present in whatever I am doing - and to give my best to the people to love me and need me the most.  I have had a massage with Pierre :) Instead of 3 riding tours, I have done 2 run races and a duathlon - and will be riding behind Sean in the 160K Ride4United Way in August.  Most of all - I haven't had a Diet Soda (or any aspartame) in over 6 weeks!  Woooohooooo! I never ever thought I could do it, and although I would charge like an angry rhinocerous to get one if given the chance, I am still steadfast in my goal - no going back! Thanks to you all for all your support  - it takes a village to raise an Annie! 
Back to my favourite things. I was thinking the other day of the many amazing things that I love about life, and in honour of the beautiful sunshine I think I shall share! All these things are free - so enjoy!
Clouds- I think their only function is to amuse and inspire creativity. What's better than laying on your back, sun beating down on your face, eyes squinting, and watching a scene take place in the sky above?
Gummi Worms- I'm not sure whether these are actually food, but am willing to take the chance for an occasional treat!
Singing into a Fan- Go ahead, try it, I dare you!
The First Bite of an Apple- Always a surprise, and the sound is incomparable.
Pool Noodles- Hmm, strange, squishy synthetic material, amazing bouyancy. Who knew!
Opening the First Page of a Book. It's like opening a door to a new realm, and if you listen closely you can hear the voices of all who have opened it before you.
Marshmallows- Like the Gummi Worms, the jury is still out on whether this is actually a food, but boy is it convincing when stuck with a tree branch and toasted to a delicious golden brown over a glowing fire.
Weather Reporters-  Love how saying exactly the same thing over and over can be made exciting and new every fifteen minutes. Also, kudos to all who risk life and limb clinging to a swaying telephone pole while reporting from the centre of a category 5 hurricane, simply so that I (sitting safely on my couch 100's of miles away) can understand the full impact of the "weather event".  Plus - how can people that are wrong so often, smile so sublimely all the time!  Highest. Self. Esteem.Ever. Weather reporters rock!

Canada-  Best country ever!  Thankful every day for waking up (and being a citizen, yay!) of this awesome and beautiful land. We really need to stop complaining about the little inconveniences that come with being Canadian and put things into perspective. To say we are lucky is an understatement. No one has what we has  - let's work hard to keep it this way!
Horses- You can see heaven in their eyes.
Coffee- need I explain?  Didn't think so.
Musicals- Movie or theatre - no difference I love it all!  I often imagine my own life as a musical, and it's not unusual for a conversation in the Tiffin home to turn into a full song and dance number.
Six degrees of seperation- Nothing cooler than meeting someone and then finding out you share mutual connections/friends/DNA. it's a small world, after all!
Flying- Strange, because I am terrified to fly. I do, however marvel over our ability to do so. As a child (and actually, I still do)believe that God Himself lifts each and every plane up, then gently blows them on their way. Miraculous!
Lists- I love order and accountability, and lists are nice, neat and tidy ways to keep everything as it should be!  I would have a list for my lists if Sean hadn't vetoed it.

There are so many things that I think are amazing!  If you have any favourite things,  please share. Also, we look forward to hearing about any goals or personal bests you have reached, either health/fitness or otherwise. Stay cool, drink lots and lots, and enjoy this glorious weather, friends!

Incredible Use for Bungee Cords

Duathlon is over!  It's the day after, and I am still feeling the afterglow of completing the first of many duathlon events. It was the most wonderful, terrifying, painful, exhilerating and heart stopping thing ever!  Had a great 2K sprint, 20 K cycle and an okay 5K run. I totally underestimated the pain caused from jumping off the bike and attempting to run. So I lost a lot of time on the run, and ran way slower than normal. But I kept going, kept smiling, kept feeling positive and enjoying the moment - and I finished. With my cheering section waving their signs, little hands reaching out for a high five and calls of encouragement from those present, and the words and thoughts from many others that I replayed in my head to keep me going. Awesome.
I watched the start of the Iron Man triathlon held at the same event.  The first people out of the water wore pink swimming caps, and were connected to each other with a bungee cord. Throughout the day I saw many such pairings - running, on tandem bikes, swimming - and I found out that they were blind athletes, tied to an athlete competing with them as their eyes. I ran a portion of the 5K run behind a pairing like this (until they left me in the dust) and overheard snippets of their conversations as we ran.  They conversed much like any other pair of runners, except occasionally a warning or instruction from the guide. "Watch for a dip" or "turn back to the right" to keep her runner on the path and competing safely. I find it so unbelievably inspiring. Not only the athlete who has the impairment, but the athlete who trains and runs with them. How unselfish and caring to aspire to be your best simply so that someone else can excel. There is no rest time - the guides must be at peak fitness to ensure that their blind partner can compete to the best of their ability and in complete safety. Also, the guide must be alert to a plethora of hazards that we take completely for granted as sighted people.   I can barely keep my eyes open through a race, let alone stay alert and be responsible for another human being. And the sighted athlete makes sure that their partner crosses the line ahead - this is truly about celebrating the amazing accomplishment of their partner, not about their own performance. The relationship between these two people is incredible. Swimming, biking and running together with just a bungee cord and a whole lot of trust to connect them.
I have seen bungee cords used in many ways - in fact I used two myself to secure my bike to the rack. But this is seriously the best use ever. Connecting people together to make dreams a reality.

When we left the park we heard that the same pairing that came out of the water first together was still leading the triathlon.  Now that's inspiring!

Phobophobia

Cited as "the fear of fears", phobophobia kind of goes hand in hand with the well worn phrase, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself". What is to fear about fear? ( I dare you to read this entire blog three times fast, LOL!) We all fear something, some of us many things, some of us have fears that cripple our everyday lives. What do you fear?  What makes your heart drop into your throat, your heart pound faster, beads of sweat growing on your forehead?
My husband is the calmest, most even keeled person I have ever met. But put a scary movie on and he turns into a jumping, trembling, screaming, Scooby Doo like charicature of himself.  I have friends who are afraid of spiders, heights, dogs, tooth brushes, you name it. But there is usually something that has happened in their past that has started these fears on their path to phobia. These fears are rational, based in fact and previous experience.
What about other fears? Such as fear of gaining weight, fear of failure, fear of judgement. There is no way to quantify these fears. These fears are life stopping, irrational and difficult to overcome. After all, we cannot control how other people percieve us, how they react to us, how our actions will be viewed.
My family went to Wonderland together for the first time last weekend.  Upon hearing that he was tall enough to ride many of the highest rollercoasters, he proclaimed,"I want to ride The Bat!!" Did I mention that he is seven and normally very sensible?  We took him to see it and he was still game. Deep breath, Mum, okay - go for it. So off he trots with my hubby. I watched his face, unsuspecting as to what was to come, as they raised his cart up to the top. As they dropped them into the first run, I could see what could only be described as pure, unadulterated terror.  Umm, I felt like the worst Mum ever. How could I not have talked him out of this?  He wasn't even tall enough to look over the seat in front of him. Major Mum fail, right there. As he tottered, dazed, off the ride, he had a mixture of terror and amazement on his little face.  It didn't deter him from trying an array of other coasters and rides for the rest of day (although none quite that large again, thank goodness). But he walked onto that roller coaster, fresh faced and excited, not knowing what to expect. No fear.
I have lots of fears. Some rational (flying, roller coasters and Heffalumps) and some irrational. I fear people's judgement, I fear failure, I fear not being a great Mum (especially after the Bat debacle). I fear mostly for my children - and fear that they will grow up with the same fears as I have.  I want them to be free of fear. 
If I were to break down my fears, they are all about not being in control. After all, I would bungee jump, cliff dive, para sail, zip line, extreme bike etc.. not without fear, but with enthusiasm. But the thought of flying makes me break out in a cold sweat. I have no control over that. And rollercoasters? Can't stop or go when I want them to. Can't take that at my own pace. Can't blame myself if something bad happens. Judgement?  Can't control what other people think of me.  And I can't live my children's lives or make them happy and productive. So I reach a stalemate.
How to let go of fear? Take it step by step.  Collect proof that what you imagine won't happen. Scared of starting an exercise regime? Start by making calls and meeting fitness pros. Then when you are comfortable, book a class or private session.  Find a place where fear is easily put aside and you feel safe, then build from there. 
As for me, I rode the Fly. It's no Behemuth, perhaps, but it's a step in the right direction. And none of my fears were realized. I am still living, I didn't fall out, have a heart attack, cry like a baby, or any other scenario that I dreamt up while in the line up with my family. 

Let go the fear of fear and take on the fear straight on, one step at a time. Surround your self with people who support you. And take the plunge.

Busy like bees

Teach a class. Make a bed. Paperwork. Doctor's Appointment. ZUMBA class. Overtime at work. Kid's soccer practise. Make dinner. Eat dinner. Pack lunches. Grocery Shopping. Meeting. P/U something important.  The song "Flight of the Bumblebee" is the the theme song for today's culture. Run faster, get more done. Flit here.  Fly there.  Never really be present anywhere.
I volunteered for a school trip to the zoo, and in my group were 5 boisterous boys.  They bounced, hopped, ran and jumped excitedly from one animal to the next, so excited they were to see as much as they could.  When we got to Stingray Bay, they changed. One look into the tank full of stingrays and sharks (which they could pet, I might add) and the boys were different. Their little hands reached in gently to touch the animals as they swam by and their excited voices explained each experience to anyone who would listen. They stood still, rooted by this unique experience, remaining captivated by the opportunity to share this moment with these incredible animals.
I have often wondered what the huge attraction is with yoga. Now don't get me wrong, I love yoga - and as a long time yogini, I believe in it's power and effectiveness - especially in cleansing the spiritual and emotional being. But, why, on earth - do we pay for the opportunity to lay on an uncomfortable mat with a bunch of strangers? 
I suspect it because we seek an opportunity to be still. To be present, without distraction, and to enjoy that exact second in time. To record it, and store it up for when life becomes hectic and overwhelming, as it too often does. Those boys at the zoo still have the skills that are born into us all - to stop everything, and just enjoy.  They went from 110mph to stillness - without guilt - only true, in the moment, don't want to miss a thing enjoyment.
That's why we go to yoga - to be in stillness - to be forced to look within ourselves, to be present, and to bathe in the quiet, in the studio, and eventually as we become more practised, in our heads. 
Breathe deep. Close your eyes. Be grateful for the life you have. And try not to be so busy that you miss it.
Namaste!

Confronting yourself.

I always try and look for the beauty in everything and everyone. I love looking people in the eye. I think it is the greatest compliment you can pay someone to acknowledge that you see them, and aren't just looking at them.  Strangely, though, I notice that I do not accord the same respect to myself.  It is with criticism and hardness that I view my own self, and rarely do I have the guts to look myself straight in the eyes.  I suspect that this is not a phenomenom solely invented by me.  I know that we are trained now to strive for an ideal, and less or more than that results in a harsh personal conversation.
I have been doing yoga this past week. Hot yoga. I find that yoga is the perfect balance for me to find peace in mind and body.  But the yoga studio has mirrors. BIG mirrors. Big, shiny, recently cleaned to a spotless state with Windex mirrors. I am standing in tree pose, and as usual I choose to gaze ahead and pick a focal point on my tummy in the mirror. My large and rapidly growing with each second round and jiggly tummy. My eyes fill with horror as I create the amazing growing person right before my eyes. The horror!  I look sneakily around at the other class participants to see if they have noticed that I am now twice the size that I started the class at. My concentration (already in peril) is now shot and I break the pose, stepping out. I glance at myself in the mirror, phew!! Temporarily restored to merely squishy, and jiggly, a state I can handle. 
How ridiculous, that merely looking at one's tummy can cause someone to pick apart, criticize and blow out of proportion each little imperfection, each tiny flaw, instead of seeing what was good in the mirror.
We flow into my favourite pose - Dancer's Pose - and I set my gaze ahead.  Somehow I was aligned to look directly into my own eyes, and I realized with fascination, that they are blue. And bright. And that I could look into them and see things. I can see the smile creases around my eyes (aka wrinkles). I can see 30 something (ha - I'm not spilling my real age) years of life and love reflected there. And when I widen my gaze, I see the best Dancers pose I have ever done.  Chest lifted proudly, back leg kicking strongly back and reaching towards my head.  Balance leg strong, firm, and rooted in to the mat.  Superb!  So for the rest of the class I made sure to look straight ahead and confront myself, just as I am. Sweaty. Imperfect. And freaking amazing. After all, this body puts up with me every day. The least I can do is love it. 

Hello, Sweet Pea!!

Nature puts everything into perspective. It humbles us with its strength. It shames us with it's fragility. It makes our eyes widen with awe when we stop and recognize it's beauty.  Nature assaults the senses, and every day it reminds us that miracles can happen.
Now, I haven't blogged in a while.  I expected to be full of words to share after my succesful 8K run.  None came (I know - a rare miracle, for sure!) I couldn't find any inspiration to share with you all. Not even a funny story, or quirky tale to pass along. Truth is, I've been in a little bit of a funk.  Post run, I felt exhilarated and proud, and then nothing.  My last week has run something like this: Daughter with reaction to bug bite. Son away for four days, and I felt a little like I had lost a part of me. Husband is working unpredictable and long hours.  Some sadness and tension in my workplace. Uncertainty about the future.  Saying goodbye to people as many of my classes wrap up for the summer.  The  fear of the financial drain during these lean summer months. No sleep.  The feeling of my knee swelling up while teaching a class, and worrying that this injury would impact my ability to meet my own fitness goals, and to continue helping other people to achieve theirs.  And I have given up Diet Coke. Almost two days now.  I have felt grumpy, irritable, sad, hopeless and (I may have already mentioned this) GRUMPY!! I have just felt completely out of sorts. 
This afternoon I decided that I would do some yard work and discovered that underneath my overlong lawn, that there was a veritable jungle of weeds. The baskets that I worked so hard on are dying a slow death, despite the fact that they look so gorgeous from inside my house. Every living thing in my yard was crying for attention.  Did I mention we are having a big party in 6 weeks??  The lawn looks like a replica of the Sahara Desert, except the desert is more green and lush.  In pure frustration, I sat down in the middle of my backyard and spent some time screaming silently inside. Where were all the beautiful flowers whose seeds I planted last month??  Where? I cried, in silent anguish, where?? Why me?? (yes I am sometimes THAT dramatic)  So I plugged in my lawn mower and went at the depressing task of trimming this wasteland of plant life.  I bent down to pull out a weed and realized that it was actually a real plant. One of the seeds I had planted. And then I noticed another. And another.  Sweet Peas!!  Some perspective was to be had here. A challenging week  - yes.  Reasons to feel less than perfect  - sure.  Tragic and life changing - nope.  Through all the tangle and trauma that is the environment known as my backyard, some beauty has managed to grow, miraculously.  So am I all better now - did the sweet pea change my entire outlook on my poopy week? Not at all. But it did give me something beautiful to look forward to.

Just Breathe

Last weekend I grudgingly donned my IPod and Skechers and headed out on a run. I am running an 8K dash for Camp Oochigeas this Sunday and the July Duathlon is fast approaching, so whether I like it or not, I have to start logging some miles. I love exercise, but truthfully, running is not my thing.  I enjoy doing it with other people, but on my own I have the attention span of a gnat, and a negative voice in my head that screams at me constantly.  While I have had some moments of enjoyment during my solo runs this spring, they have been few and far between. Mostly it's a battle.
So I had not even bothered to psyche myself up before this run, resigned to the fact that likely it would hurt, would bore me and I would come home sweaty but dissatisfied.  And so I set out.
It was a beautiful day - idyllic almost, with the lilac bushes in full bloom along the side of the road, the sound of lawns being mowed, the laughter of children happy to be finally playing outside. The IPod was spewing favourite songs that were helping me pick up my aching feet.
I love Grey's Anatomy. I feel like Meredith Grey, the main character, and I have lots of common ground.  I have had plenty of times in my life when I have been, "dark and twisty" as Meredith has described herself. I have a complicated relationship with my mother. I have my own McDreamy knight in shining whatever (although mine is WAY better) who has stood by me through thick and thin. I have dug myself out of bad situations and have risen from the ashes of my own self destruction.  So it's probably no surprise that there are lots of amazing  tunes from the show on my IPod, and that I identify lots of my own major life experiences in the words and music. I've often laughed that it could be my own personal soundtrack. 
I was running down a country road, contemplating the deep mysteries of life. Actually I was not so quietly cursing and complaining about my aching legs, but I digress.  One of my favourite songs came on, and it made me laugh. I love irony, and the song is called Just Breathe - something which I was struggling with at that moment in time.
I powered on, enjoying the freedom of running, with the song infusing itself into my pores. I felt that song, right at that moment, and turned my chin up towards the sun.  Spreading my arms out to the sides to feel the air rush past my sweaty arms, I felt free. It seems so cliched, but I have spent much of my life wondering who I am.  And the answer to that is varied, often complicated and often simple. But at the heart of me is that girl, running free and strong down the road towards the next challenge. Full of joy and life. A survivor. Dark and twisty no more, I am happy now to just breathe.