Spring is Springing!

It has been a long, dark winter. Each morning as I woke up and groggily dragged myself over to the window, I would crack one eye open and be momentarily filled with hope. Each morning I got grey skies, cold, damp and well, winter. Winter! Imagine - winter in Canada. I really don't know what I expected.  I know that I am an eternal optimist, and that I always try to look for the good in everything, but not even I can wish away the snow in our beautiful northern country. 
One of the reasons that I love being a fitness instructor is that I get to see people beat the odds. I see people take steps to change their lives. I see smiles bloom, where self doubt once festered. I see posture change from "please don't look at me" to "look at me world!"  I see waistlines shrink, eyes brighten, steps quicken, smiles broaden and bodies strengthen. I see personal transformation occur in each and every class, and celebrate each victory, big and small, with all of the people who take part in our programs. 
Last weekend I had one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I got to lead a class of over 130 people, aged 1- over 80 years old.  Simply amazing - the energy in that room was inspiring - and I can still see the smiles of each and every person who came.  We danced for Gillie Beans. To make a video and celebrate a life cut too short.  We danced together. We laughed together. We remembered a special girl, or met her for the first time. No one left unchanged.
The sun shone, it's warm rays bathing us in it's light. Ribbons waved, laughter carried in the breeze, something special was in the air. 
Spring is a very subjective thing. I know there is a specific date that marks its official beginning, but everyone has that one special thing that makes it real for them.  The first robin, hopping along on the front lawn.  Crocus popping out of the still frozen ground.  That first family walk together in the new warmth. Easter. When does spring begin for you?
I realize that for me it is futile to check out the window each morning for signs of spring. I see it every day.  Every time something beautiful comes to life before my very eyes, and every single time that I see hope and joy arise triumphantly to chase the grey clouds away. 
Spring is springing. Bask in it!

Death and Taxes

The only to "fer sures" in life, right???  Well, as it is almost April, I figured I should address the whole taxation issue.  There are a few things in life that are much more positive and that I guarantee are "fer sures".
(a) exercise makes you feel good - seriously good.  Nothing makes you prouder of yourself than completing your first full teaser pilates exercise, legs off the ground and all.  A sense of awe at your own totally insanely strong body after completing a hard core, sweaty and groovin' ZUMBA class.  The amazing moment when you recognize that you surprised yourself.
(b) when you realize that you CAN do so much! And that these accomplishments cross over to all aspects of your life. You can call on the same personal strength when dealing with a crisis as you do when you push yourself beyond your expectations during a physical challenge.  You use the newfound confidence to take on and succeed at new challenges at home and work.  You reach the end of the road and instead of looking ahead and bemoaning how far there is to go, you look back and take pride in how far you have come.
(c) that you can make change happen.  Maybe it's small. Maybe you feel that it is insignificant. But when you choose to move and to strengthen your body, you feel each change and notice the huge difference it makes.  When you proudly jump just a little bit higher, lift a little bit more, run a little bit farther.... well, you notice that a little bit is really a whole lot.  So the next time you turn away because you don't feel your small contribution makes a difference?  Turn back and go for it - the smallest steps change lives!
Confidence. Accomplishment. Pride. Strength. Exhilaration. Joy. All "fer sures" when you live your life taking care of an amazing and wondrous person - you!  So, while death and taxes aren't going anywhere soon, let's join hands this April and spend less time worrying about those things we can't change, and instead celebrating all that we can.

Truly, anything is possible!

Time to check in on my goals for 2011 again.
Me time - not in the way I expected
3 bike tours with hubby - change of plans slightly
Time with family and friends - working on it
aspartame addiction - still rampant.
So a big, fat goose egg on the goal front for me. Not exactly a good role model for change and inspiring positive change in others.  But let me explain....
I have challenged myself to do something new this year. As much as I will enjoy tackling 160km with Sean in the Ride4UnitedWay, truly it is Sean's goal.  I will gladly trail along behind him, moaning about my sore butt and complaining strongly about the entire process, but I really don't think I am avidly excited about pursuing this as a fitness goal. I am relieved, actually, because this way when Sean beats me, I can reassure myself that I didn't train specifically for it anyway. :)
So, in my typical "bull in a china shop" way, I boldly declared my intention to try a sprint Triathlon. Until Sean (always the voice of reason!) mentioned that I don't run, and cannot swim. So he gently suggested that I rethink that as a goal for 2011, and maybe take some time to learn to swim this year in order to do it in the future.
So I have settled on a duathlon - 7km of running, 25km of cycling. Not worried about the cycling, but RUNNING?!?!?  seriously?? I haven't run since, well, my much more youthful days. I honestly run like a rhinocerous, clomping and snorting along, head down - barreling ahead madly. How on earth am I going to do this? I have spent the last week alternately talking myself out of this and pumping myself up.  So I thought I had better just run and see how it felt. You know, before I completely let the negative voices talk me out of this whole crazy idea.
And you know what? I have run 4 times this last week, culminating yesterday in completing 5km - a feat which I never thought possible. Ever. Seriously - I still can't believe it. It may not seem like a lot, but after nearly defeating myself before I even tried, it is incredible to be now confidently looking forward with great glee to a trial 5K trail run I have entered in a few weeks.   I will definitely have times in this process where I get discouraged, sore, frustrated and unmotivated, but I am determined and excited
So don't let yourself be defeated. If you want something, don't sell yourself short - you will always surprise yourself! For anything is possible. Even beating my aspartame addiction. Eventually. Right??

It's finally over

February - the month so ridiculous that we had to shorten it's duration to make it tolerable. Now I don't mean to be negative, but February was the blahest of the blah this year! If it wasn't for my amazing classes ( read - you all!) it would go down in Annie history as the officially most grey and bleckie. But  it's now  March and I am determined that even if it is grey and damp, my outlook will not match the weather!  I have booked a few days off of teaching to spend time with the family, March break is coming, lots of exciting stuff is happening! 
But, I confess, I have still not stopped drinking Diet Coke. I need rehab.
So, ladies and gentlemen, my point is this. Today is what matters. Yesterday is gone, and do-overs aren't possible. Let's not dwell in what was (or wasn't) or spend time stressing about what is to come.  Every moment we spend worrying about another day robs today of it's opportunity for happiness.  Give each day a chance. It is precious, beautiful and unique. Hmmm. Just like you.

Things you may not know....

about me!!!  I am always trying to spend the little bits of time we have together to find out more about you. So, know I have you captive I'm going to tell you some random things about me. Some you may know, some may surprise you (I hope!)
-my favourite colour is pink (although it used to be black)
-favourite food - Dairy Queen Blizzard (preferably Oreo)
-place of birth - Wentworth, Essex, London, England
-I don't often cry and have been accused of having broken tear ducts
-am extremely goal oriented, and somewhat of a perfectionist
-LOVE to read - and will read almost anything once.
-wish I could sing:) and desperately wanted to be Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. Used to practise "the Hills are alive..." everytime I saw a suitable rise of green grass. OK, I still do.
- think that dancing is the most pure form of personal expression - because anyone can do it and it's always beautiful.
- have battled with my weight, and dropped over 100lbs after my second child was born
- I believe that each one of us can change the world in our own way
- love horses. love every single thing about them - they are magnificent animals. Worked all my life with them before getting married and settled down.
- dream trip - to go to Israel, Egypt and Palestine
- would like to go on a Mission trip to a third world country
- I don't love Christmas
- exercise keeps me sane, calm and centered
- have shook hands with Cher, seen Gordon Ramsey and  Shaggy up close,and talked to David Cassidy.
- have two children (aged 5 & 7) and would love a couple more
- am afraid of heights
- have two cats and a bunny
- am the youngest child , two older brothers
- if I won the lottery I would give most of it away
Well, that's a little bit of my craziness - and next time I see you, tell me something random and interesting about you!  Because I really want to know.

My Goals - How are they going??

Well, not so well. I am still hopelessly attached to Diet Soda, going without for any period of time has me drooling rabidly and mumbling "aaaasppartame" incoherently everywhere I go.  I still haven't had another massage (although I have had some "me time" today with a warm blankie and a good book). My plans to cycle the Ride 4United Way with hubby would be best served if I actually got on my bike. And I have so hopelessly overscheduled myself that the hope of enjoying time with family and friends seems more a dream than reality. 
So I'll have to restart my engine, and prepare myself to attempt to follow through on my goals. All of them will change my life in small but positive ways, and all are totally achievable. One stumbling block? Me! I have to let go of the fact that these small changes aren't in the bag already. I like checking things off my list, getting my stuff done.  And in this rare instance, I have not lived up to my own lofty expectations.  Time to forgive myself and move on - something I hope that we all can do if we haven't yet achieved our New Year's goals or resolutions. Not give up, but forgive, move on and grow stronger.  Cause if I can give up aspartame - you can achieve anything, trust me!!

Go for it this year friends!

Sharing the Light

this was a strange week in many ways.  Snowmageddon took over the GTA - it's bark was way worse than it's bite, thankfully. Some of our classes were cancelled just in case.  I have been very tired, and feeling the effects of the winter blahs, probably much like many of us are feeling at this dark and bleak time of year. I have been tempted a number of times to wrap myself in a blankie, watch a talk show and eat ice cream direct from the carton.  We can rarely afford the luxury of some pure, unadulterated sucky me time.
So, feet dragging at times, I got myself up to the classes I had running. It was at times a difficult task to remove myself from the couch, but I constantly preach that often the times we least want to do something, the more we truly need to do it.

There are two moments that I would like to share with you from this last week in my CORE life. I was hired to teach a ZUMBA class to a group of women of all ages on Tuesday night, and the ladies were ready to party!!  It was an energizing, rowdy and all around amazing hour of ZUMBA fitness. But the moment came as the opening strains of "Let It Be" started our cool down routine. As I often do, I closed my eyes at the beginning of the song to ground myself and relax into it's familiar tune.  I realized that something this time was different.  Above the CD recording, I could hear the voices of the women in the room, singing along, raising the ending of the class from fitness cooldown to spiritual moment.  It is perhaps not public knowledge, but the choice of Let It Be is of great significance to me. You see, I knew a little girl. She was amazing. And I saw her dance - before I ever knew that God was going to make her His angel so soon. So each time I play this song, I model my movements after her, and blow her a little kiss to heaven.
It was an unparalleled moment, so completely unrelated to that little girl, and yet it created in that room the most beautiful rainbow, with its colours connecting us all in that moment.
Today I taught a class and there was a girl with Down Syndrome. She shyly hung out at the back of the room, unsure of what was to come. As the opening strains of music played, and the class settled into it's familiar rhythms, I could see her face.  She was alive. The music sang out from inside her. She was glowing. By the end of the song she was front and center, and giving the rest of the class a lesson on "Feeling the Music 101".  She left the class at the end, stopped at the door, and turned around to shyly smile at us all before she left. 

We all know life has some unexpected things in store for us.  We never know who's life we may change, or who may change ours. And we never will, if we allow ourselves to stay wrapped up, comfortable and avoiding the opportunities we are presented each day.